How Do I Leave My Christian Girlfriend Now That We Have Dated So Long?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I sinned with a Christian woman. It took us a year before we started what I wish I had never started, and it weighed heavy on my heart when I introduced her to this. I wanted to break up after 2.5 years in the relationship, but she was devastated.
I told her it wouldn’t work because I wanted to raise my kids as Muslims and teach them not to drink and teach them Arabic. I feel so guilty because I introduced her to sin with me. She says her mind would never be at rest being touched by a man other than me.
I want to repent and stop, but she wants us to get married, but she says she will never convert to Islam. I feel like I have destroyed her soul and her future as well as her mental well-being as she once got pregnant for me, and we aborted it.
Answer
You have to use the same courage to leave her that you used to when you decided to sin with her and abort the child.
Leave Her Now
You are only making it worse by staying with her. Your conscience has already told you that she will not be the right wife and that she cannot raise your children as Muslims. Please run away from her as fast as possible. Will it hurt? Yes. Will you never get over the guilt? Maybe. But it doesn’t matter. Don’t make the mistake that many others have, those who have married their Christian girlfriends and regretted it for the rest of their lives. Leave now and know that you will please your Lord and bring blessings into your life that weren’t there before.
Remember that Allah Most High has told us in the Quran: “[…] It may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of goodness.” [Quran 4:19]
Remember that if you leave something for the sake of Allah, you will still get what you want in the end, in sha Allah. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Most High but that Allah will replace it with something better for you.” [Ahmad]
Turn to Allah
When facing any challenge, turn to Allah for help. Pour your heart in supplication to Him because He can send the solution to the problem that He sent in the first place. He can pull you out of a sin that are you deeply entangled in. Be committed to your prayers, pray the Prayer of Need, read some Quran daily with the meaning, and give charity regularly, for the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) told us, “Give charity without delay, for it stands in the way of calamity.” [Tirmidhi] Needless to say, repent for the abortion that you agreed to.
Please see these links as well:
How Does One Deal with Heartbreak after Quitting a Haram Relationship?
Should I Marry My Boyfriend, or Break Off the Relationship?
How To Come Out of a Haram Relationship?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
