Can I Lie to Prevent My Parents from Doing Haram?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
My parents watch and listen to haram things on TV, and now I want to disable the channels, will it be permissible for me to lie when my parents ask if I did anything?
Answer
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your dedication to what pleases Allah and for wanting to help your parents to purify themselves and have blessings in your home.
Lying
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Lying leads to all sorts of wicked deeds, and wicked deeds lead to the Hellfire.” [Bukhari] You should face your problems head-on and not escape them because you are scared to face your parents. If you want to do something, don’t hide, do it openly. This is courage, honesty, and strength. If they refuse, you must listen to them. There are other ways to get them haram out of their lives, in sha Allah.
Tact
You are not morally responsible for the actions of your parents, but you should try to help them by advising and teaching them as best you can, without being disrespectful or getting angry. In certain situations, one should not even advise one’s parents, see all those details here: The Criteria of Enjoining Good and Forbidding Evil
Bring gatherings of religious people for circles of recitation, remembrance, and knowledge to your house. All of this will cause mercy and blessings in your home, and perhaps change their hearts against disobedience and ugliness. Take your parents with you to listen to Islamic lectures or send them a video on the topic that might inspire them to stop. Use tact, patience, and wisdom. Honestly, the true fruits of your efforts might come after they have watched you practice Islam for years and seen how beautiful your life is.
Turn to Allah
Continue praying for them and their right guidance. Make sure that you keep up your prayers, study the religion, and learn well the life of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and how he inspired people to obey Allah with kindness, wisdom, intelligence, and truth. Emulate that, by Allah’s grace you will succeed.
Follow this hadith and make it your goal in how you deal with your parents: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness, and He grants reward for it that He does not grant for harshness.” [Ibn Majah]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
