Urgency and Virtues of Adoption: How To Adopt

Love and care of others and those in need is a central principle in Islam. This is the third in a series of articles on from the course Why Adopt? The Urgency, Virtues, and Practical Steps to Adoption.

Religion itself is sincere concern. You care for the good of others. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “None of you believes until they wish for others of the good that they wish for themselves.” The very least of it is that one wishes it for them. And the strong believer is one who can take the means to fulfill that. 

The one who does not have concern for the poor, destitute, hungry, or for any category of people who are in need, whatever the type of need is, is lacking in faith. The underlying concern is that if there are children in need of families in which they can be raised, taken care of, and have someone who is taking responsibility for their best interests in the absence of their actual parents, someone who takes the role of a parent, then that is clearly highly encouraged at a personal level and collectively an obligation. 

How to Adopt: Religious Dimensions

It is not that you can only adopt a child when they are small. It applies to anyone who is still in need. What if someone has hit puberty but they need a family to take care of them? Can you take care of them? Yes. As for how you do it, there are certain limits but those are not exclusionary limits. They are limits that one can work with and around. 

One of them is to adopt more than one child. If there was a single Muslim woman who wanted to adopt, there is no prohibition in our religion from her doing so. One simple way is to adopt more than one child.  Another option is you could nurse the child when they are still below the age of two or two and a half. 

The limits of interaction can be dealt with in a number of other ways as well. What is prohibited with respect to being secluded with one adult person of the opposite sex refers to being in a closed room. If there are other people around such as the living room area, that does not fall under the prohibition. One can deal with that before the child hits adulthood, they could adopt another child. 

Serious Commitment

Affording adoption is not a religious consideration. The religious consideration is that one does not make a commitment that one cannot fulfill. Authorities have a responsibility to ensure that the fundamental interests of the child are protected. 

When it comes to inheritance, every Muslim should have a will to make sure that their wealth is distributed in sound ways, but we have discretion on one-third of what we leave behind. The range of possibilities concerning adoption and guardianship are many. You are not necessarily raising the child for the whole duration. If one raises a child as one’s own etc.. One can and should incorporate them as part of one’s bequest.

One’s bequest can be revised. One may come to realise that they are not able to be their guardian and so if one moved on and lived another 30/40 years, one does not have to keep them in that. A child whose guardianship you take, it is also very possible that you might not remain their guardian. However, what is best is that if you can, then follow through with it for it is a serious commitment to make. Once you commit, follow through on it. 

Religious Considerations

There are a number of religious considerations. It is not the same legally as a biological child. A child whose guardianship you take does not become your child in the sense of lineage and inheritance. You can still refer to them as your child. 

Can you give them your last name? Yes. There is a difference between last name and lineage. Lineage is saying so and so is my biological child. When the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) was in Makka, the Makkans came to his uncle and they tried to strike a deal because they could not just kill him. For in a tribal society if you kill someone who is from one of the clans but is part of the same tribe, the clans are all going to break into war with each other. They tried to strike a deal saying how about we give you one of our children and you give us your son. 

Abu Talib said that is strange. “You want me to take care of one of your sons so that I take care of him, and to give you my son so that you kill him. Do you really think I’ll do that?” He was referred to as his son in the broader sense and there is nothing wrong with that.

Naming Considerations

There are a lot of practical considerations to giving the same last name. In many countries, if you travel they’ll check for identification. There is a possibility, especially with foreigners in many countries, that they are very wary of what foreigners are up to. 

You can refer to them as your child, your son, or your daughter in the broader sense. That is common in many cultures. It does not literally mean that you have claimed that the child is biologically yours. Ascribing lineage is one thing and giving someone a last name is another.

Just like if a woman gets married, if she wants to adopt her husband’s last name, there is nothing wrong with it. There is no there are no religious requirement and it is probably better not to change one’s name.

Basic Interest

If someone is taking care of a child who is from a Christian family and they need someone who is taking care of the child for a number of reasons. If there are arrangements made already, you can allow them to go to Sunday school. No one is bound to teach another what one does not believe. There are all kinds of situations where it may not be a long-term matter, so you take care of the child, their well-being, and their education. 

The child may convert if they wish. The merit of any adoption or guardianship is in taking care of that child. The religious and spiritual upbringing of the child is one part of the whole equation of raising the child. You do not have to teach them something you do not believe in. Nor is it reasonable according to any standard and it is also almost disrespectful. 

None of the religious considerations should prevent one from taking care of a child. The greater governing consideration is the basic interest of the child. There are certain things you take care of such as when the child is close to puberty so there are certain restrictions such as not going to sleep in their bed.