Relationships are Connections of the Heart Supported by Reason

As a collaboration between the SeekersHub Toronto, the Muslim Chaplaincy at U of T and the U of T MSA, the Muslim Chaplaincy at U of T offered a course during the Fall of 2014 called Living Light with Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. The sessions I attended were excellent, and left us with much to think about afterwards. Below, notes from one of the sessions.

• Have a daily point of connection to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him
• The sunna is not just general principles, but practical specifics
• The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him would keep in touch with people for decades afterward
• Part of goodness to parents is goodness to the friends of one’s parents. To be respectful to their friends.
• Have loyalty in relationships
• We often like to study intellectual things but most important knowledge is that that transforms how we worship and how we are with Allah’s creation. We must constantly ask: what is the right action entailed by the right intention and attitude?
• Sometimes to determine this we need to momentarily disengage. When Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him asked the Companions to come out of ihram and they didn’t respond, there is a methodology we can learn in his response.
  • a) Disengage (went inside his tent)
  • b) Consult when unclear. Sometimes expressing your problem helps to view it correctly  (Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him consulted his wife)
  • c) Only respond when sure. Don’t say or do anything hastily. Say the good or be silent.

• Good character is manifest when tested

• With couples/any relationship – tell yourself, i don’t want to respond to how I feel and what he/she saying, I want to respond in way pleasing to Allah

• Attitude and then action. Look at your spouse with mercy and love.
• Opposite of love is not hatred, it’s indifference. If motive is to look with mercy, you are seeking the good.
• Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did not deal with people on the basis of what they said or did, dealt with people on the basis of heart. What is their underlying concerns.
• Have an eye of love and mercy. Have a good opinion of your spouse.
• Relations are a matter of the heart (emotions), they aren’t rational.
• Relationships are connections of the heart, supported by reason.
• Deal with people on the basis of good chraracter.
• The Prophet peace and blessings be upon him, gave us numerous examples – need to renew our connection to him, peace and blessings be upon him.

By Shagufta Pasta,
originally published on her blog, Immersing in the Sea