What Should I Do if My Husband Did Not Issue a Verbal Talaq to His Wife?

Answered by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Question

My husband follows the teachings of Imam Shafi‘i. Due to ongoing conflicts with his first wife, he has refrained from meeting her for the past six years. However, no formal divorce (talaq) has been pronounced. The situation escalated to the point where legal intervention was necessary, leading to a year-long process that concluded with an agreement. He agreed to provide her with a house and a monthly allowance for both her and their daughter.

Despite this arrangement, there has been no contact between them for the past six years since she left. Recently, she has reached out, urging him to return and asserting that he is committing a sin by staying away. These messages on WhatsApp have left my husband confused and emotionally distressed.

I am deeply concerned about his well-being and would appreciate any guidance you can provide to help him navigate this difficult situation.

Answer

In the name of Allah, The All-Merciful, The Especially Merciful. All praise is solely for Allah (Most High). May the choicest salutations and blessings be upon the final Messenger, Muhammad (Allah bless and give him peace). May Allah facilitate ease for believers worldwide to practise their faith freely.

If no talaq (divorce) was issued, their marriage is still valid. If he wishes to end the marriage, he has to issue a talaq by merely uttering the word. If he does not issue a talaq, he is still married to his first wife, and Allah knows best. [Nawawi, Minhaj al-Talibin]

In Islam, the family unit and maintaining relationships are highly emphasized. However, it’s also essential to address conflicts and challenges in a manner that is in accordance with Islamic teachings. Here are some general suggestions:

Seek Knowledgeable Guidance

Approach a qualified Islamic scholar or God-fearing counsellor who can provide advice specific to your husband’s situation in light of Islamic teachings.

Open Communication

Encourage your husband to communicate openly with his first wife, either directly or through a mediator, in order to understand her concerns and express his own. Islam encourages resolving issues through peaceful dialogue.

Seek Reconciliation

If possible and in accordance with Islamic principles, explore avenues for reconciliation. This may involve sincere repentance, forgiveness, and a commitment to resolving past issues.

Legal Obligations

Ensure that the legal and financial obligations agreed upon are being fulfilled, as Islam emphasizes honesty and fulfilling one’s commitments.

Prayer and Patience

Encourage your husband to turn to prayer for guidance and patience during this challenging time. Seeking Allah’s help through sincere supplication is a fundamental aspect of Islamic problem-solving.

Community Involvement

If necessary, involve trusted members of the community or family elders who may be able to offer guidance and support in resolving the situation.

May Allah bless and guide us all.

[Shaykh] Irshaad Sedick
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Irshaad Sedick was raised in South Africa in a traditional Muslim family. He graduated from Dar al-Ulum al-Arabiyyah al-Islamiyyah in Strand, Western Cape, under the guidance of the late world-renowned scholar, Shaykh Taha Karaan.

Shaykh Irshaad received Ijaza from many luminaries of the Islamic world, including Shaykh Taha Karaan, Mawlana Yusuf Karaan, and Mawlana Abdul Hafeez Makki, among others.

He is the author of the text “The Musnad of Ahmad ibn Hanbal: A Hujjah or not?” He has served as the Director of the Discover Islam Centre and Al Jeem Foundation. For the last five years till present, he has served as the Khatib of Masjid Ar-Rashideen, Mowbray, Cape Town.

Shaykh Irshaad has thirteen years of teaching experience at some of the leading Islamic institutes in Cape Town). He is currently building an Islamic online learning and media platform called ‘Isnad Academy’ and pursuing his Master’s degree in the study of Islam at the University of Johannesburg. He has a keen interest in healthy living and fitness.