Kindly Share Islamic Insights on Getting Married?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I am 34 and unmarried. Last year, I met a religious man who seemed perfect. He wanted to propose but first had to tell his family. I waited, then he told me he wanted to get settled first and not to wait for him; If Allah wills, He will bring us together. I see that he could not talk to his family about me. I think his family will see me as not measuring up to him, as he is very likable and quite perfect. I didn’t want to ask him again because the message was clear.

I want to get married, and I am praying hard. I get annoyed easily, and I still wish that he would come back or I find someone better. Please, give me a dua that I will get married soon.

Answer

Thank you for your question. Being single in a world of married couples and families is very difficult, and I pray that Allah Most High gives you ease and barakah with whatever happens.

Dua

Please continue to make dua for a spouse, as it completes one’s religion and allows one to expand their worship and character.

Abu Hurairah (Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “One of you will be responded to, so long as he is not hasty, saying: ‘I supplicated, and I was not responded to.’” [Tirmidhi]

If you make intense supplication and the timing of the response delays, do not despair of it. His reply to you is guaranteed, but in the way, He chooses, not the way you choose, and at the moment He desires, not the moment you desire. [Aphorism of Ibn Ata’illah]

Please recite the duas from the following links, and rest assured that He will send you the best person for you at the right time.

Kindly check these links:
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long
Supplication for a Spouse

While You Are Waiting

You should not be satisfied with just waiting around. You must take yourself to task and do beneficial things with your time. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “The feet of the son of Adam shall not move from before his Lord on the Day of Judgement, until he is asked about five things: about his life and what he did with it, about his youth and what he wore it out in, about his wealth and how he earned it and spent it upon, and what he did with what he knew.” [Tirmidhi]

Use this time especially to learn your religion. Take a course on marriage so that you are prepared for it and on your personally obligatory knowledge and a course on daily haram and halal. You should also learn about the Qur’an, learn to read it better, and memorize some. You can also take your time to acquire a skill that can help you in the future, such as child-rearing, babysitting, sewing, or starting an online business. Dealing with people correctly is a tremendous skill most people don’t have. Using your time on frivolous or useless things won’t help in any facet of your life.

I pray that Allah sends you the absolute best person for you. When he comes along, by the grace of Allah, choose him for deen and don’t be picky. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

Please see the following links for more information:
Why my Singlehood Seems Endless and Why is it So Difficult to Bear?
How Do I Get Rid of My Desperation to Get Married?
Why Is Allah Not Answering My Supplications for a Good Husband and a Good Job?

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.