Can I Pray Istikhara for Family Planning?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Can istikhara be prayed about family planning?

Is delaying having a family with the use of contraception wrong?

Can one use it to complete one’s education to ensure better focus on the child? Or should we leave it to Allah, the best of planners?

To what extent should we control such matters as the feeling of guilt for using contraception starts to occur?

How do we seek guidance from Allah on this matter?

Answer

Thank you for your question on this delicate matter.

The answers to your question are in the links below, please refer to them for complete detail:

My Husband Doesn’t Want to Have Kids. What Can I Do?
Is Contraception Permissible?
Is Contraception Permitted for Valid Reasons?
Is Contraception Permissible According to the Shafi’i School?
Questions About Post-Natal Bleeding and Birth Control

Praying istikhara about this is perfectly permissible and actually praiseworthy. Seeking guidance from Allah Most High is the best place to start when making a big decision like this.

The second step is to have an open discussion with your partner about such timing. You don’t want to wait too long because parenting when you are old and tired is not fun either. Completing one’s education prior to pregnancy is very beneficial because it can aid one in raising children.

Thirdly, consult family and friends about choosing the right time. People with similar experiences are the best to ask. And finally, when you do decide to have children, trust that Allah will send them to you at the best time for you. Be patient and submit to His will. Thank him at each stage of your life.

I can attest (any mother can) that having children is a full-time job. One is allowed to decide when is the best time to take on such a task.  Before you do, be sure to take a course on parenting in Islam. Learning your obligations as a parent and learning how to raise a Muslim child is of the utmost importance. Don’t feel guilty for delaying your decision, if you follow your istikhara, you will see the benefit of it sooner or later, in sha Allah.

May Allah bless you with pious children who can be a coolness to your eyes.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.