What Should I Do If My Father Will Not Let Me Practice My Religion?

Question:

I am in the twelfth grade, and I have two issues. I want to study in a madrasa and become a scholar, and I want to marry any religious woman who covers properly. My father will not allow either because we are from a modern family.

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I am sorry that you are in this predicament and that your father has different standards for you. The bottom line is that your father does not own you, and you should proceed in the way that you desire. Your parents should be obeyed in the permissible, but not in disobedience.

Marrying a woman who is not religious could ruin your life and the religion of your children, so you are making the right choice by choosing a partner for religion. I cannot commend you more for this mindset, ma sha Allah.

As for your career, it is very honorable to study Sacred Knowledge, and scholars are the inheritors of Prophets because of what they convey. As a man, you must have a plan for financial stability as well, and I pray that you can accomplish both. I know Muslim scholars who have engineering degrees, and I know doctors who spend all of their free time studying Islam.

You should pray istikhara and follow your heart. I pray that you can find that balance in order to study your religion and still support a family. Nothing is more deserving of respect than a scholar who supports his family independently and brings benefits to others. May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.

Please see these links for more detail:

https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/can-i-pursue-a-career-that-goes-against-my-parents-wishes/

https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/i-want-to-study-islam-abroad-but-parents-insist-on-me-staying-at-home/

https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/seeking-knowledge/avoid-pursuing-islamic-studies-paying-parents-mortgage/

https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/seeking-knowledge/modern-scholars-importance-seeking-knowledge-reader/

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.