Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I committed sexual harassment in the past when I was 15 years old. I am now 22 and have repented from doing this sin, but I have not yet asked forgiveness from the people that I have abused in the past because I do not know who they are and where they are now. I’m afraid of the punishment for my actions. For now, what I have been doing the best is making a 2 rak`a prayer and reciting a Surah Yasin for each person I have abused. But I still feel that it was not enough to make up for my past sins as I feel like I need to ask for forgiveness from them. How should I repent from this sin when I don’t have the ability to ask for forgiveness from the victims?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your feelings of guilt, but rest assured that your sincere repentance and donation of Quran recital is enough; you should not contact your victims.

Despair

You must never despair because Allah forgives all sins. There have been many sinners before you, and you are not the worst of all sinners. Find solace in this Quranic verse: Allah Most High says, “Say, ‘O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.’” [Quran, 39:53]

Allah is overjoyed at the repentance of His servant: Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than anyone of you is pleased with finding his camel which he had lost in the desert.” [Bukhari]

And the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “The one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.” [Ibn Maja]

Do Good

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up an evil deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]

You are already doing this by praying for them and donating your recital of Sura Yasin to them, Ma sha Allah. You can also give charity on their behalf. You should not seek forgiveness from them directly, as this re-opens old wounds and causes them pain, hurt, and stress, and might remove their desire to forgive you.

Marriage

You must channel your guilt and sadness into fulfilling your obligations to Allah Most High and seeking to gain closeness to Him. Pray the Prayer of Need, make du`a at tahajjud time, and take out time to learn Sacred Knowledge and develop your Islam. Devote yourself entirely to Allah for the transformation of your heart, and you will come to love what He loves and hate what He hates.

Du`a

I recommend that you say this du`a daily:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسأَلك الثَّبَات فِي الْأَمر والعزيمة عَلَى الرُّشْدِ وَأَسْأَلُكَ شُكْرَ نِعْمَتِكَ وَحُسْنَ عِبَادَتِكَ وَأَسْأَلُكَ قَلْبًا سَلِيمًا وَلِسَانًا صَادِقًا وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا تَعْلَمُ وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا تَعْلَمُ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُكَ لِمَا تَعْلَمُ.

Shaddad b. Aws said that God’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to say in his prayer, “O God, I ask Thee for steadfastness in carrying out what I am commanded and resolution in following right guidance. I ask Thee to make me grateful for Thy favor and to enable me to worship Thee acceptably. I ask Thee for a sound heart and a truthful tongue. I ask Thee for some of the good of what Thou knowest, I seek refuge in Thee from the evil of what Thou knowest, and I ask Thy forgiveness for what Thou knowest.” [Nasa’i]

Please see more details here:

• How Should a Sexual Predator Seek Forgiveness from His Victims?
• A Reader on Tawba (Repentance)
• How Can I Repent for Sexually Abusing My Younger Sibling?
• How To Seek Forgiveness for Abusing Someone?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.