How to Seek Forgiveness for Foreplaying with the Same Gender?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I have committed an enormous sin and am not sure how to proceed. I had foreplay (homosexually) with another man without penetration. Does this require a Hadd punishment? I live in the West where this isn’t implemented, what should I do?

Answer

Thank you brother, for your honest question. Sodomy is among the agreed-upon deadly enormities of the genitals. [Abu Talib al-Makki, Qut al-Qulub] Fooling around with a person of the same gender does not require a prescribed legal penalty (hadd punishment) because sodomy was not committed. Praise be to Allah Most High for your restraint.

Avoiding an Enormity Expiates Lesser Sins

Allah, Most High, says, “If you avoid the enormities of what you have been forbidden, We shall acquit you of your wrongdoings.” [Quran 4:31] Restraining yourself from committing sodomy can be, by the grace of Allah Most High, a reason for your salvation.

However, you must still repent for this sin. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said in this hadith Qudsi, “Allah, Exalted and Most High, said, ‘O son of Adam! Verily as long as you called upon Me and hoped in Me, I forgave you, despite whatever may have occurred from you, and I did not mind. O son of Adam! Were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky, then you sought forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you, and I would not mind. So the son of Adam! If you came to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you met Me not associating anything with Me, I would come to you with forgiveness nearly as great as it.’” [Tirmidhi]

Turn to Allah with the Prayer of Repentance: Salat al-Tawba and sincerely ask him to rectify these feelings for you. Anytime you have these feelings, immediately bless the Prophet and turn your mind away from it. Also, cut off all contact with your friend and ask that Allah send you a permissible way to satisfy your desires. If your urges are very strong, start fasting regularly, you will think about your dinner instead of your urges.

If you still have unresolved feelings towards the same gender, you may consider seeing a therapist or delving into a permissible hobby or distraction to help you. Try to keep the company of pious and good friends and family. Constantly ask Allah Most High to strengthen you and help you.

Kindly check these articles:
Shaykh Hamza Yusuf on Gay Muslims; Scholars Issue Statement
How Should Muslims Treat LGBTQ Individuals?

May Allah Most High give you the best in this world in the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani 

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.