Doubts about Purity after Waking Up

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat is asked about the relation between dreams that cause arousal, possible orgasm, and purity.

Question:

Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

For the past few months I have been having so much hardships with regards to my purity after waking up. I didn’t even know women can have wet dreams until I came across something online. Since then I have doubts about everyday dream and try to replay it to see if it was a “wet dream.” My question is what exactly is a wet dream? What is the sexual climax in the dream? Is it the orgasm? If I have a dream where there is something sexual, or if I see someone I like but I don’t remember or did not have an orgasm do I need to do ghusl? On another website it said if you have a wet dream but don’t remember an orgasm or did not have an orgasm you don’t need to do ghusl. Is this okay? And in this case if you have a wet dream or any dream with something sexual, and didn’t or don’t remember having an orgasm so sexual climax but you do see discharge, do I have to still do ghusl?

Are all dreams where there is someone you like or an opposite gender, a wet dream. I mean in some dreams I see myself or someone holding hands. In some dreams there are opposite genders. In some dreams I see a wedding. In some dreams, I or someone is taking a shower but I don’t see any private parts. In some dreams I see someone I like so I feel butterflies. Sometimes I see someone I like or any male and I feel aroused. But to what extent should I know I had a wet dream?

I keep thinking that every dream with even the slightest bit of something sexual is a wet dream and when I see even the slightest bit of discharge I feel I need to take ghusl or I am impure and my prayers won’t be accepted. Please help me. I read the post on rules for men and women regarding wet dreams but that just confused me even more. In that answer, we are told if there is no discharge we don’t have to take a ghusl, but do we check for the discharge right after waking up?

What if you go to the washroom  20 minutes after waking up, etc., and the discharge has dried and you can no longer see it clearly on your underwear? Or sometimes I am wearing patterned underwear, so I cant make out the discharge that may be on it. Does it have to be discharge you can see right away, or do I have to look really really close to see if there is discharge? Because that’s what I do right now. I literally take my underwear off and bring it close to my eyes to check for spots or discharge.

Please help. Islam is a religion of ease, I don’t know why I am making it hard for myself. I am now scared of sleeping over at the homes of relatives because I always have to take a bath in the morning, and doubt every dream is a wet dream. Please help me with regard to this, may Allah bless you.

Answer:

Wa alaykum assaalam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

The dream is of no consequence. Whether it is sexual in nature or not, what the ruling in this situation is based on is the discharge.

The discharge here is of sexual fluids, and is likely to be much more than normal discharge. In the situation in question you would clearly see the trace of a large amount of liquid. If you are having to look up close at is there has not been any discharge.

So, in summary, if you see a discharge which is greater in quantity than the normal, white discharge, perform a ghusl. The dreams, and their intensity are of no consequence if no sexual fluids were discharged. (Shurunbulali, Maraqi al Falah).

You seem to be suffering from OCD. That is why you are making the practice of religion difficult on yourself. Please seek professional help for this, and you’ll find that religious matters will also seem easier.

This answer may also be of some benefit.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani.