Is a Man’s Prayer Valid When He Won’t Wait for His Wife to Join Him?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

Is the prayer of a husband invalid if he ignores his wife and starts the prayer without her even though she signaled she wanted to join and was going to make wudu? Is his prayer valid if he excludes his wife purposely, not even ten minutes into the prayer time, and without asking her to join or calling the iqama loudly?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your disappointment and frustration at not being able to join your husband for prayer, but it does remain nevertheless valid.

Patience

Suhaib (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Wondrous is the affair of the believer for there is good for him in every matter, and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, he thanks Allah, and thus there is good for him, and if he is harmed, he shows patience, and thus there is good for him.” [Muslim]

My advice to you is not to cause a fight or argument over this matter but rather to show patience and join the prayer as a latecomer. There will still be reward for you even if you don’t join him from the beginning, and eventually, he will catch on that it is important to you, and he will begin waiting for you, by the grace of Allah. Don’t sour this experience by fighting because prayer is too precious and too important for marital bonding to ruin the experience. After all of this, I encourage you to encourage him to pray his obligatory prayers in the mosque.

Please see these links as well:

• Should I Pray in Congregation or with My Spouse?
• Staying Connected to Your Purpose Even When Your Marriage is Rocky

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.