What Should I Do About Stubborn Parents Who Refuse My Potential Suitor?
Question: I am a 23-year-old postgraduate female student, and I am in love with my classmate who is 27 years old. In sha Allah, next year we will graduate, and soon he will get a job. I told my father about him, but my father is strictly against telling him that we are poor and that we are from another state. Our cultures will not match. However, he is a good religious person, and his family is too. We have been making dua to Allah and praying tahajjud to change my father’s mind.
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration about your father’s rejection of this man. It is not easy to be in love and be unable to do anything about to marry.
Make Dua
At this point, this is all that you can do, and it is the best thing that you can do. His consent is necessary to move forward, and remember that Allah can change the hardest of hearts. Please say this du’a for marriage in addition to your daily prayers and tahajjud. Also, pray the Prayer of Need:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/marriage/dua-make-someone-spouse/
Face Reality
I see that you are already emotionally attached, so I recommend that you try to keep your distance from him and accept the fact that your father may or may not agree. Be prepared either way. In the future, try not to get attached to anyone and stay within the limits of gender interaction. Please see this link:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/father-will-disown-marry-man-choose/
Learn
In the meanwhile, use your free time to learn about the rights and responsibilities of marriage, and prepare yourself with basic knowledge of fiqh and the halal and the haram of daily life. In sha Allah, the better you prepare, the better marriage you will have with whomever it may be.
May Allah reward you and give you the best in this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
