What Should I Do Now That I Told My Potential Bride about My Past?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am not married, and unfortunately, I committed fornication. It was not intentionally done. I met a religious girl for marriage, and I told her about my sin. She said she didn’t want to give me a second chance because although I am a true believer, I don’t match her standards.
She can change me because she is very religious, but she doesn’t want to associate with me in any way after hearing this. What to do? I am very disgusted and ashamed and ask forgiveness from Allah every day.
Answer
I empathize with your sadness at losing this girl, for informing her was a mistake, and you should repent for uncovering a sin that Allah Most High had covered for you.
Mercy
Do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Allah Most High says, “O My servants who have committed excesses against their very selves, despair not of the mercy of Allah: Verily Allah forgives all sins soever: Truly He is the All-forgiving, the All-compassionate.” [Quran, 39:53]
You should walk away from this girl and ask her not to tell anyone. In the future, don’t inform a prospective bride of your past, it is between you and your Lord, and your repentance is enough for Him. Transform yourself now by performing good deeds and increasing your worship.
Du’a
Please say this prophetic du’a daily:
اللّهُمَّ إنّي أَسْألُكَ الْهُدى وَالتُّقى وَالْعَفاَفَ والْغِنَى
O Allah! I ask You for guidance, piety, chastity and self-sufficiency. [Muslim]
Please see more details here about NOT informing a potential spouse about your past:
Should I Tell My Suitor about the Fornication in My Past?
Disclosing Past Sins
How Should I Deal with My Husband Inquiring about My Past Sins?
Informing a Prospective Spouse About Past Non-Marital Relationship
Will My Future Husband Find Out About My Virginity?
Should I Tell My Spouse About My Relationships Before I Got Married?
Seeking Forgiveness for Premarital Relationship and Informing One’s Spouse
My Friend Committed Fornication in the Past, and Wants to Tell Her Prospective Husband About It. Is This a Good Idea?
Are There Valid Reasons to Reveal Sins?
Do I Need to Confess My Zina to My Excellent Suitor?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
