Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

What should one do if they want to marry someone and later find out the person has diabetes?

Answer

Thank you for your question. It is permissible to go forth with the marriage, but one should still pray istikhara, consult others, and learn what to expect.

Sickness

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: “Indeed, Allah has sent down both the disease and the cure, and He has appointed a cure for every disease, so treat yourselves, but do not seek cure through what is prohibited.“ [Abu Dawud]

Attitude

One type of diabetes can be reversed and cured, so you should find out which type your potential spouse has. Discuss a lifestyle change regarding diet and exercise, and see if they are willing to help themselves, this will tell you a lot about the person. If they are unwilling to change, be prepared to deal with the ramifications of this disease or walk away. It is not a reason in and of itself to decline the proposal.

Tips

Marriage can be challenging for people with diabetes, but it can also be successful with open communication and clear expectations. Here are some things to consider when marrying someone with diabetes:

• Communication: Talk openly about how to work together to be healthy. Be honest about what support you need, and ask how you can help.
• Education: Learn about diabetes and low blood sugar.
• Mental health: People with diabetes are at higher risk for mental health conditions, which can impact relationships.
• Preconception care: Discuss contraception and glycemic control before conception.
• Support: Be a good listener and role model. Help ease stress, but also know when to step back.
• Counseling: Consider counseling for the patient, family, and prospective spouse.
• Other challenges that can arise in marriages with diabetes include misconceptions, stereotypes, occupational and fertility limitations, quality of life, and financial burden.

Dua

Encourage him/her to keep their hopes up and know that Allah’s promise is true in the Quran: “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]

Please recite this dua daily;

اللَّهُمَّ ربَّ النَّاسِ  أَذْهِب الْبَأسَ  واشْفِ  أَنْتَ الشَّافي لا شِفَاءَ إِلاَّ شِفَاؤُكَ  شِفاءً لا يُغَادِرُ سقَماً

O Allah, Lord of mankind, do away with my suffering. Heal as You are the only Healer and there is no cure except that of Yours, it is that which leaves no ailment behind. [Bukhari]

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.