Is a Year Too Long To Wait for an Answer From One’s Istikhara?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I proposed to a girl for marriage. Her family responded to us well and they told us that they will do istikhara about it. It’s been 13 months and they still didn’t get the result of istikhara. They always tell us to wait longer. What should I do? I feel stuck.

Answer

Thank you for your question. Yes, a year is too long to wait for an answer from one’s istikhara, especially in matters of proposals.

Istikhara

You will find all the details here about how to pray istikhara correctly and how to expect an answer from Allah:
Istikhara: The Prayer of Seeking Guidance
Please forward the links to the girl’s family.

Move on

My advice to you is to move one. If you wish, you can pray istikhara first, about 7 times, and see how you feel. There is no definitive waiting period for your answer. You go with how you feel and how circumstances unfold around you can also be a sign.  After this, if it’s negative, you should swiftly move on. Perhaps the girl’s family will agree when they see that you are ready to propose to another. Or perhaps they really do want you to move on and just don’t know how to say no.

Either way, don’t waste your time.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.