Do I Need My Parents’ Permission to Marry, as They Disapprove?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I am a 31-year-old Muslim male, and two years ago, I got to know a girl who is practicing Muslim alhamdulillah. We got engaged but then broke it off three months ago. We got in contact again, and we wish to get our nikah done. However, my parents are against it as they think it won’t work out, and we’ll keep arguing. As a man, do I need my parents to agree for me to marry her? I have tried countless times to talk to my parents, but they still haven’t agreed. My mother said that I cannot do nikah in Islam unless both my parents agree to it.
Answer
Thank you for your question. As a Muslim man, your parent’s permission is not required for you to marry; rather, it is recommended.
Permission
Although their permission is not needed for this marriage, I highly recommend that you talk to your parents and ask them to relent. Ask them to meet her again, talk to her more often, talk to her family, and pray istikhara on the matter. Their blessing will be a great asset to your marriage and will make matters easy later on. As a matter of fact, I know more than one girl would not agree to marry unless she had her future mother-in-law’s permission, as married life would become too difficult without it.
Rely on Allah
I ask you to supplicate to Allah before dawn for guidance, pray istikhara and consult those around you to make the right decision. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of Allah Almighty but that Allah will replace it with something better.” [Ahmad]
Step back from this situation, and ask yourself if you are marrying her for the right reasons and if this is how you pictured yourself getting married. The most important advice I can give you is this. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious or your hands will be covered in dust!” [Bukhari & Muslim]
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Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
