Can I Pray to Allah That I Marry My Classmate from University?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I am a university student, 23 years old, and all my life, I have had low confidence and been an introvert. I had many childhood crushes in the past, but now in my class, I have started to like this girl so much that I have started praying five times and even tahajjud and asking Allah to marry her. We have never interacted once, as she only hangs out with girls and goes home after classes. I have no wrong intentions, I want to keep this halal and marry her, but I don’t know what to do. Is it okay to ask Allah that He may create a situation where I can marry her?

Answer

Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for guarding your modesty and devoting yourself to your Lord throughout this process.

Istikhara

It is fine to ask Allah to create a situation where you can marry her, but first, I recommend that you pray istikhara about this girl to make sure she is the right one for you. It may feel like she is perfect,  but have you applied this advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) in your decision? He said, (Allah bless him and give him peace)  “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or her piety. Select the pious, or your hands will be covered in dust!” [Bukhari & Muslim]

A Comprehensive Guide to Istikhara

Steps

Once you have prayed istikhara and felt positive, and decided to propose, you should contact her father and tell him that you are interested in marrying his daughter and that you would not want to get to know her without his permission. This is the most honourable thing a young man can do, and he will automatically respect you much for it, by the grace of Allah. Of course, you should procure your parent’s permission first and optimally go with them to her house. Or you could have your father call her father as the first step.

Preparation

In the meantime, prepare for marriage by taking courses to learn your obligations and rights and review your personally obligatory knowledge. Make a plan for your livelihood, and pick up conflict resolution skills and good habits before you get married. If you want to be married, you have to be marriage material!

Please see these links as well:

• What Is the Process for Delivering a Proposal For Someone’s Hand In Marriage?
• How Should I Approach a Prospective Spouse?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.