What Should I Do If My Husband Is Leaving Me Due to Infertility?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I’ve been married for almost six years now. My husband and I are trying to conceive. We had a miscarriage at the beginning of our marriage but no success afterward. I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder two years ago, making it hard to conceive. Now, my husband wants to divorce because he wants to try to have kids with someone else. He makes me feel like I did something to my unborn child. We haven’t done any treatment to be able to conceive, but now he’s requesting to a divorce. I don’t know what to do.

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your pain and frustration, and I pray that you find patience and that you seek the right solution together.

From Allah

Always remember that Allah is the One who gives and withholds, and it is out of our hands. What was meant to be was written before you were born; you must embrace this.

Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “To Allah (alone) belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates whatever He wills. He blesses whomever He wills with daughters, and blesses whomever He wills with sons, or grants both, sons and daughters, (to whoever He wills), and leaves whoever He wills infertile. He is indeed All-Knowing, Most Capable.” [Quran, 42:49-50]

Treatment

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) taught us to be proactive. Why not seek treatment? There are many infertility clinics and specialists out there, and you and your husband should do everything in your power to see how the situation can be helped. Dua is important, but taking the means is important too. He should get himself tested as well, in case something within him is preventing pregnancy. You must not assume that you are the only medical cause for this.

Divorce

If your husband wants to leave you based on infertility, you may or may not be able to convince him to stay. I urge you to be patient, not to lose hope, to marry again, and continue to ask Allah to provide you with what is right for you. Pray the Prayer of Need, take every means possible in the meantime, and rely and trust solely on Him. You don’t know what the future holds. You may be meant to be with a better man and be granted children with him, or your future may have something else. Make the best of your situation and look forward and be patient and trusting in Allah’s power and destiny.

Allah Most High said, “(…) You may dislike something although it is good for you, or like something although it is bad for you: God knows and you do not.” [Quran, 2:216]

Turn to Allah

There is no better time than now to turn to Allah with sincerity and impoverishment. Channel your pain into dua to Allah Most High and strive to fulfill all of your duties to Him first. Pray on time, learn the meaning of what you are saying, read the Quran daily, and bring more remembrance of Allah into your home. Pray the prayer of Need, supplicate before fajr time, and give charity regularly, asking Allah to remove this problem. Be sure that your income and food are halal. Once you seek help through Allah and not through yourself, the matter can become very easy. Turn to supportive, loving, and wise friends, family, or local scholars to help you get through this. Put all your trust in Allah, for the One who sent the problem can send the solution.

Please see these links as well and learn the duas within:

• Struggling to Have Children: Ten Key Etiquettes of Du’a.
• Dealing With Infertility.
• Infertility: Why does Allah Not Bless Some With Children?
• Can a Man Divorce His Wife If He Suspects She Has Fertility Issues?
• Could You Give Some Supplications to Help Me with My Infertility and My Stress?
• In Vitro Fertilization.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.