Should I Incessantly Apologize to People When They Ignore Me?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I always feel very guilty. Whenever someone ignores me or starts acting differently, I wonder if I hurt them unintentionally, even though I know I haven’t done anything wrong. I keep saying sorry many times to them, and often, people start talking easily with me and start ignoring me. What should I do? Should I always say sorry for things I don’t do? And when people ignore me, should I keep apologizing?

Answer

Thank you for your question. I praise your desire to be good to others, but there comes a point where it’s excessive and uncalled for. Rather, make a habit of saying sorry to your Lord and seeking forgiveness from him several times daily.

Apologies

Your behavior is contrary to the sunna. If you have wronged someone, then you should apologize only once, and move on. Leave them alone. Seeking forgiveness from Allah is the norm of the Muslims. It is what Allah has commanded us to do, and we should seek to emulate the habits of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace).

Narrated Abu Huraira: “I heard Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace)  saying. ‘By Allah! I ask for forgiveness from Allah and turn to Him in repentance more than seventy times a day.’” [Bukhari]

Please see these links as well:

• Should I Stop Excessively Asking My Parents for Forgiveness?
• Should I Seek Pardon From Every Person That I Have Harmed?
• How Do I Repair Harm Done to Others?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.