I am in Love and Want To Make Her My Second Wife

Question: I am in love with a girl of another Muslim ethnicity that I worked with. Five years ago, I proposed to her to become my second wife, and she rejected me, complaining to management whenever I spoke to her. Praise be to God that I didn’t lose my job. I have not spoken to her in the last five years, but now she is inclining toward me. Is this a blessing from Allah, the Almighty?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. No, I would not look at this as a blessing from Allah, but rather as a test.

Taking a second wife

It’s not right for you to take a second wife, because of the hardship and pain that it will cause your first wife. You will not be able to fulfill her rights and you won’t be able to see your children as much as you should. Please see these links for more details:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/can-the-man-i-love-take-me-as-a-second-wife-despite-his-mothers-disapproval/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/hanafi-fiqh/can-a-husband-marry-a-second-wife-without-his-first-wifes-permission/

Ignore lust

Loving a girl is not enough to make a marriage endure and is by no means the right reason to get married again. I encourage you to restrain your gaze and to follow the rules of gender interaction when you are at work, lest the Devil occupy you with thoughts of a second wife. I also encourage you to rekindle your relationship with your wife and try new things with her. One must be willing to adjust and change in order to improve one’s marriage and drive away any thought of other women.

May Allah give you the best in this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.