Can I Cut Off a Friend Who Shows Me Sinful Things, Lies and Touches Me Wrongly?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I’m trying to cut a guy out of my life. He is Muslim but showed me pornography for fun, and I didn’t like that. All my life, I’ve tried to stay away from it, and he does inappropriate actions like touching me in haram places. I’ve forgiven him for everything, and I’ve told him that, but he keeps on trying to be friends with me again. I just want to cut him out. There is a hadith that as long as the two brothers don’t reconcile, the two cannot enter Janna. Does that still count after forgiving him? I don’t want to see that stuff. He said he wouldn’t do it again, swearing by God, but then he did. I think it’s valid for me to cut him out.

Answer

Thank you for your question. It is not just permissible for you to cut him off. It may be obligatory.

Forgiveness

Forgiving others is central to Islam, as the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever does not show mercy to the people, Allah will not show mercy to him.” [Tirmidhi] You have already forgiven him in your heart, so you have fulfilled the hadith of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace).

If you cut off this friendship, which you must, it will not be considered cutting ties of kinship. The Prophet said: “Do not cut off one another, nor desert one another, nor hate one another, nor envy one another. Be you, O worshippers of Allah, brothers. It is not lawful for the Muslim to shun his brother for more than three(days).” [Tirmidhi]

Preventing Harm

In this case, you are not shunning a family member (friends take different rulings). You have forgiven him in your heart, and you are simply choosing not to spend time with him, without a grudge, because of the harm he presents to you, regarding your religion. It is obligatory to protect yourself from the Hellfire, and you are simply taking the necessary means. Be assertive, tell him that you want to keep a distance, and pray to Allah Most High that he increase in faith and taqwa and follow guidance.

Allah Most High has told us in the Quran, “O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, overseen by formidable and severe angels, who never disobey whatever Allah orders—always doing as commanded.” [Quran, 66:6]

Please see many excellent details here:

• How to Avoid Cutting Ties With People and Bad Company at the Same Time?
• Can I Cut Ties With a Muslim Friend Who Is a Bad Influence?
• What Should I Do With Friends Who Swear and Backbite?

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin and completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.