As a Male, When Should I Get Married?

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Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

With the context of being a male, is it haram to delay marriage? Should I wait until I get a job or a better job? Should I delay until I learn marriage fiqh or the basics about halal and haram in life for a Muslim? Can I delay improving myself as a person to be a more suitable partner for my future spouse? Imams in the mosque also mention the fear of fornication, implying that I will somehow lose control if I don’t get married. In certain situations, I may not fulfill my desires with my wife. Does that mean I should panic? Can I not just abstain from this sin or the sins surrounding it if I see it as wrong?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.

At the onset, one should get married when one is physically, financially, and emotionally ready. This can vary obviously from person to person.

I advise you to pray istikhara, consult others around you and make dua that Allah Most High guides you to what is best. And to follow the advice of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), who said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, or her piety. Select the pious; may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari; Muslim]

You should choose religion over anything else first, then other aspects.  So when the time comes, I pray it is soon; choose because she is good for your religion and will make an excellent righteous wife, mother, and teacher for your children.

Four Things Contribute to Happiness

Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Four things contribute to happiness, a righteous wife, a spacious home, a righteous neighbor and a comfortable means of transport” [Ibn Hibban, Musnad Ahmad]

Best Joy in the World, a Righteous Wife

Abdullah ibn Amr (Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “The world is enjoyment, and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous wife.” [Muslim]
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.
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I pray this helps with your question.

Wassalam,

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel

Checked and approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey.

He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled into an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and Alimiyyah sciences. He then travelled to Karachi, Pakistan.

He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for a number of years. He has taught hifz of the Qur’an, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to both children and adults onsite and online extensively in UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences.

He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His personal interest is the love of books and gardening.

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