What Can I Do as I Have Doubts I’ve Unintentionally Become an Apostate?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

In continuation to my previous questions, if you conclude that unintentionally I did become an apostate, since before I wasn’t a good Muslim. I did many sins, but at a time, I realized and repented. But since I didn’t know that I may have done shirk or kufr, I never repented from that before. I don’t think I said the Shahada separately too; said it in my Salah only, “Ashhaduanla ilaha ill Allah wa ashhaduanna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluhu” like this, performed prayers and fasted like a good Muslim, prayed a more than a year of my missed prayers and still praying, was about to start missed fasts too, made amends with many people I wronged, did a lot of good deeds. Does all that go in vain? My previous good deeds got removed, so only bad deeds are left?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and for asking for Islamic advice and an answer.

You are unquestionably a believer and never did become an apostate. This is all simply misgivings and doubts due to your past. As you mention, “you conclude you might have become unintentionally an apostate.” Your hating them is sufficient proof that there is no “doubt.” Don’t worry about not saying the statement of testification (shahada), specifically.

The shaytan is pleased when he makes the religion seem unbearably difficult for somebody. Seek refuge in Allah Most High from him.

Religion is Ease

Moreover, realize that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Verily this religion is ease, and none make this religion difficult except that it overwhelms them.” [Bukhari]

You are doing really well reconnecting back to practicing Islam, and there seems to be more sincerity and focus than ever before, which is proof of your faith (iman) and relationship with Allah Most High.

Read Ta’awwudh and This Specific Dua for Misgivings

Say the ta‘awwudh, which is:

”أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ“

(I seek refuge in Allah from the rejected devil.)

Make dua abundantly when anxious before prayer.  You can also recite Surat al-Nas, a Sura and dua, for protection against misgivings. Also, keep your tongue moist with this dua:

”اَللّٰھُمَّ اجْعَلْ وَسَاوِسَ قَلْبِیْ خَشْیَتَکَ وَ ذِکْرَکَ وَاجْعَلْ ھِمَّتِیْ وَھَوَایٰ فِیْمَـا تُـحِبُّ وَ تَرْضٰی.“

(O Allah! Render the thoughts and inclinations within my heart to be Your fear and remembrance, and let my endeavor and desire be devoted to what You love and are pleased with.) [Daylami, Musnad al-Firdaws]

Rejoice and Be Grateful

Rejoice and be ever grateful in the bounties of Allah Most High and His innumerable blessings upon you; from faith, good actions, health, family, and safety. There is so much to be grateful for. Of the greatest of blessings is that He has made you a believer.

Keep continuing; I pray to Allah to increase you in sound faith, good actions, and an ever-increasing relationship with Allah Most High, amin.

You can search for more related answers on SeekersGuidance.com.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction, in sha’ Allah.

Related:

• Devil’s Tricks – The Path of Muhammad: Birgivi’s Manual of Taqwa Explained. [Video]
• Mental Health Workshop: An Islamic Guide to Dealing with Depression.
• Doubts – IPD Session #3 | COJ – an ISIP Youth Chapter Initiative
• The Application of Islamic Psychotherapy for the Treatment of OCD
• Key Principles Relating to Certainty, Doubt, and Baseless Misgivings (Waswasa)
• A Reader on OCD and Waswasa (Baseless Misgivings).
• The Application of Islamic Psychotherapy for the Treatment of OCD. [Video]
• Being Balanced – Emotional and Mental Health.
• Istikhara, The Prayer of Seeking Guidance: The Ultimate Guide – A Reader.
• How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (Salat al-Haja)?
• Prayer of Repentance: Salat al-Tawba.

Why not begin your search for knowledge by signing up for a course on SeekersGuidance?

I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.