How Do I Solidify My Faith While Christian Ideas Plague Me?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I have been in and out of Islam several times over many years. This has hurt other Muslims, and, consciously or not, I’ve also hurt myself in the process. I wholeheartedly believe that Islam is the truth, and have been practicing and studying more, and even enrolled in a basic course here. But the teachings of the church I used to attend, despite not making sense to me, have me torn apart with the irrational fear of Hell. Again, I truly believe Islam is the truth, and I’ve started practicing, but this inner struggle is horrible. I’m also unemployed, and if my mother’s husband learns that I’m practicing again, he could kick me out, and I have nowhere to go. I’m bipolar too, disabled, and that doesn’t help at all.

Answer

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your frustration and I pray that you can overcome these doubts, which I know you will in time, by the grace of Allah. May Allah facilitate this matter for you.

Hell

Some Christians speak about the ‘problem of Hell‘, but these are incompatible with the beliefs of Islam. We believe that Allah is just, merciful, and benevolent. He gave us each free will, and all believers will end up in Paradise, by His mercy. The most important point to remember is although He created Heaven and Hell with justice, He described Himself as the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), told us, “When Allah created the Creation, He wrote in His Book-and He wrote (that) about Himself, and it is placed with Him on the Throne-‘Verily My Mercy overcomes My Anger.‘“ [Bukhari]

Please see extensive details about the Hellfire here:
– What Is Aqida and Why Study It? – Shaykh Hassan al Hindi
– Disbelievers being ransom for Believers from the Hell-Fire
– How to Understand the Hadith About Hell and the Seasons?

Knowledge

It’s very important that you solidify your faith by studying some sacred knowledge. This will increase your certainty and you will find a platform to ask all your questions. I find it imperative that you start with these resources:
– Essential Islamic Aqida, with Dr. Umar Faruq Abd-Allah
– What Muslims Believe and Why: Dardir’s Kharida al-Bahiyya
– Who Designed the Designer? – Why Islam is True with Shaykh Hamza Karamali
– What Should I Do If I Have Doubts About Islam?

Good Deeds

I am very happy to hear that you are practicing because performing good deeds will certainly increase your faith. Don’t ever give up practicing your Islam, Allah will open doors of goodness for you and give you ease after difficulty, by His grace.

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, in this Hadith Qudsi: “Allah, Mighty, and Sublime be He said, ‘Whosoever shows enmity to someone devoted to Me, I shall be at war with him. My servant draws not near to Me with anything more loved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him, and My servant continues to draw near to Me with supererogatory works so that I shall love him. When I love him I am his hearing with which he hears, his seeing with which he sees, his hand with which he strikes, and his foot with which he walks. Were he to ask [something] of Me, I would surely give it to him, and were he to ask Me for refuge, I would surely grant him it. I do not hesitate about anything as much as I hesitate about [seizing] the soul of My faithful servant: he hates death and I hate hurting him.‘“ [Bukhari]

Living Situation

I am truly sorry to hear about your living situation. Can you practice secretly for a while and then gradually tell them that you are thinking about Islam more and more? Can you tell them that you want to apply the basics for now? Generally, when one is good to one’s parents, they just can’t be upset with you. Try to have this kind of relationship with them, by bonding with them and doing things for them. Allah has promised in His book, “So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease.“ [Quran, 94:5-6]

Health

Please be sure to see a professional for your bipolar disease. Talk to a doctor, therapist, and be proactive about healing yourself. Perhaps ask your mother to help you get connected to someone. At the same time, do what you can to get daily exercise, fresh air, and cut out junk food.

Supplication

Please learn and recite this supplication: يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ

Shahr bin Hawshab said, “I said to Umm Salamah: ‘O Mother of the Believers! What was the supplication that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), said most frequently when he was with you?” She said: ‘The supplication he said most frequently was: “O Changer of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion (Ya Muqallibal-qulub, thabbit qalbi `ala deenik).’” She said: ‘So I said: “O Messenger of Allah, why do you supplicate so frequently: ‘O Changer of the hearts, make my heart firm upon Your religion.’ He said: ‘O Umm Salamah! Verily, there is no human being except that his heart is between Two Fingers of the Fingers of Allah, so whomsoever He wills He makes steadfast, and whomever He wills He causes to deviate.’”

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani