How Can I Overcome My Feelings of Worthlessness?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I’m hurting mentally. I cry until my head hurts. ‘I don’t want to live anymore’ I’m scared to live, think, speak and do things because I don’t want to feel wrong about anyone or anything or say what I don’t want to say. I have so much anxiety. I’m crying about my past sins and everything and scared to live.
I’m ruined; what hurts the most is my feeling worthless and like nothing. I feel like I’m rubbish; I mean nothing and have no value. I have such an ugly heart; I’m so stupid, I’m so dumb, I’m such a lousy person to Allah Most High.
Please help me; when I cry to Allah, I can’t feel the connection with Him, and I haven’t gotten comfort because I don’t feel connected to Him.
Answer
I empathize deeply with your feelings, and I’m sorry that you feel this way when your heart is as deep as an ocean and can encompass more than you think.
Supplication
The first thing that I recommend is that you busy your tongue with dua and dhikr (remembrance of Allah) as this will start to heal your heart:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْجُبْنِ وَالْبُخْلِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
“O Allah! I seek refuge with You from worry and grief, from incapacity and laziness, from cowardice and miserliness, from being heavily in debt and from being overpowered by (other) men.” [Bukhari]
اللهُمّ صَلِّ عَلَى سَيِّدِنا مُحَمَّدٍ طِبِّ القُلُوبِ وَدَوائِها وَنُورِ الأَبْصَارِ وَضِيَائِهَا وَعَافِيَةِ الأَبْدَانِ وَ شِفَائِهَا وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَصَحْبِهِ وَسَلِّمْ
O Lord! Send blessings on our master Muhammad,
The medicine of hearts and their cure,
The light of eyes and their illumination,
The health of bodies and their healing,
And upon his family, companions, and send peace upon them.
يَا مُثَبِّتَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى دِينِكَ
O You Who makes hearts steadfast, make our hearts steadfast in adhering to Your religion. [Ibn Maja]
Tips
Because of the severity of your situation, I urge you to see a mental health specialist or psychiatrist.
Remembering Allah
A few tips that I can give you is to remember that Allah loves you because you are a believer and that the Devil is jealous of you at every moment because of your faith. Seek refuge from him often, and don’t let him convince you that his whisperings are your thoughts. They are not; they are the devil’s thoughts.
I also urge you to dig deep and determine what problems have caused these feelings. Dealing with those problems can help you heal. Even speaking about them aloud to yourself can help.
Stay Away from Social Media
Please cut screens out of your life, such as surfing the internet and social media, as most of these waste time and leave us feeling empty and unhappy. Replace them with time in nature, exercise, volunteer work, and even spending time with animals.
Consider seeking naturopathic or traditional Chinese medical treatment, as these work wondrously to bring one’s mind and body back into balance.
Seek Closeness to Allah
Turn to Allah with worship, sincere dua, reading Quran with the meaning, and regular prayers. Do these to the best of your ability, and know that doing your best is good enough for Allah. He will grant you ease, comfort, relief, calmness, and contentedness. Just ask Him, and don’t ever stop asking, for He is the All-Hearing and All-Knowing.
Please see these links as well:
Being Depressed? Or Hoping for the Best?
Depression and Sadness.
Fighting Depression Through The Remembrance Of Allah
How to Get Rid of Suicidal Thoughts and Depression?
How Do I Calm My Worries?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
