Should I Inform My Sister’s Suitor That She Has Schizophrenia?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I have a sister who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Now that she is medicated, she can function normally, but she must stay on medication for life. She is looking to marry. Initially, she disclosed her diagnosis early in the process of meeting suitors. This resulted in refusals from men who were otherwise very interested.
Now, she does not plan to disclose her diagnosis to her potential spouse before marriage. She says it is not something she is required to share before a nikah. Is this true?
Secondly, if it is kept secret, is it halal for me to attend or participate in her wedding? What is my responsibility here?
Answer
May Allah reward you for wanting to protect the rights of others and for encouraging her to be transparent.
False Impression
She must inform her suitor that she has this illness, it is only of the utmost decency. If she doesn’t, she will suffer the repercussions.
Asma’ (Allah be well pleased with her) reported “A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said: ‘I have a co-wife. Is there any harm for me if I give her the false impression of getting something from my husband that he has not in fact given me?’ The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, ‘The one who creates a false impression of receiving what one has not been given is like one who wears two garments of falsehood.’” [Bukhari; Muslim]
Attendance
If she chooses not to inform him, it is permissible for you to attend and participate in her wedding. I know that keeping this secret would weigh heavily on you, so if I were in your shoes, I would pray istikhara and consult local scholars about it. It’s a very difficult decision, and I don’t see any easy way of betraying your sister and telling the suitor the truth. If she does get close to marriage, the least you can do is try to convince your sister by showing her the links below and pleading with her to be honest. Allah provides a way out for everyone if one behaves with the fear of God.
Way Out
Know that Allah’s promise is true in the Quran: “And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.” [Quran, 65:2-3]
Please see more details here:
Should I Tell a Suitor That I Have a Mental Illness?
How Much Should I Reveal When Asked About the Character of a Prospective Spouse?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
