Was My Nikah Valid If the Guardian (Wali) for My Wife Was Her Mother?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

My nikah is over, and this was my wife’s second marriage. Her father had died; thus, her mother was her guardian (wali), even though her uncle and brother still lived but did not attend.

According to what I’ve heard, the wali (guardian) must be the father; if not, then the uncle and the brother. I need to know if I did the correct thing. What is the ruling?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health.

It is better if the marriage ceremony (nikah) is solemnized with the permission of her guardian (wali) or his presence. However, it is not necessary for the validity of the marriage (nikah). Therefore, if a mature girl marries a man of her match (kufu) with the due presence of two male witnesses or one male and two females, the marriage will take effect whether the guardian is present or not. [Maydani, al-Lubab Fi Sharh al-Kitab; Ibn ‘Abidin , Radd al-Muhtar]

Wisdom and Varying Roles of Guardianship

A mother is considered a nurturing guardian of her child, even if the father is given guardianship (wilaya) over the children in terms of marriage. She is entitled to greater overall respect than the father.

Honoring Your Mother, Then Your Father

Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reported that a man asked the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your father.” [Bukhari; Muslim]

The Shari’a has again considered the different roles of men and women. The father has been tasked with bringing bread to the table, and the mother has been tasked with nurturing and raising children. Similarly, the man has been tasked with protecting the marital future of his child due to his inherent qualities of protective jealousy (ghayra) to secure one’s family status. A father is always overprotective of his children regarding marriage, especially for his daughters. Due to this nature, Allah Most High has given the responsibility of securing the child’s future to him and lifted the burden off the shoulders of women.

Related:
What Are the Conditions for Doing a Marriage Contract without a Consenting Guardian (Wali) or Witnesses?
Can We Get Married Without Involving Our Parents?
Is a Nikah Valid in the Presence of Three Female Witnesses and without the Mention of Dowry?

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally-trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.