Tormented by Thoughts of Disbelief

Answered by Ustadh Tabraze Azam
Question: Assalāmu’alaykum
When I first got close to Islam, words cannot even describe how I felt…I was crying in my prayer…It was just beautiful.
But now I get waswasa about shirk. For example, someone will say “look at the weather today, it’s so miserable”, and then I will say “I know.” but then immediately think “Oh no! I’ve disrespected Allah and committed kufr”.
I love Islam so much. I don’t want to commit shirk or kufr. Please help. 
Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray that you are in the best of health and faith, insha’Allah.
Misgivings are from the devil. He is your sworn enemy and would like nothing better than to confuse you, mess with your life, and have you drown in doubts until he ends up causing you to forget whose slave you are. This is his mission, and he is very good at what he does. How is it that somebody with so much presence, love, and tears in their prayer can end up after a time depressed, in constant fear, and doubting whether they are a Muslim or not? The devil.
The way of the sunna is to ignore such whisperings and misgivings, and to focus on what really matters: Allah. You need to have sound knowledge and understanding of the religion before you can make judgements on issues. Making up rulings only fuels the devil and his work.
As such, make it a point to:
1. Remove the unlawful from your life.
2. Repent from all sin.
3. Attend at least one gathering of knowledge or remembrance a week.
4. Send blessings upon the Holy Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) one hundred times daily.
5. Take a class somewhere.
6. Find some righteous company.
7. Get up at night when others are asleep and ask Allah to remove the troubles in your life.
If you have further questions, don’t hesitate to send them. We’re here to serve.
Please see: What is the Ruling For Someone Who Has Thoughts of Disbelief Without Saying Them Aloud? and: Satanic Whisperings (Waswasa) as a Trial from Allah: Punishment or Blessing?
And Allah alone gives success.
wassalam,
Tabraze Azam
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani