Should I Block My Ex-Boyfriend Who Is Harming Himself Because of This Break-Up?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I blocked my ex-boyfriend years ago and now he made a fake account to contact me again. He reminded me that I swore to Allah I wouldn’t break up with him but I still did because my feelings weren’t genuine. He said I’m his first love and cut his arm because I broke up with him. I asked for his forgiveness for everything many times and I told him to move on, but he won’t listen. What if he curses me? He said that in Islam it’s a huge sin to cut ties with another Muslim. So what should I do now?

Answer

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question.  You should start off with tawba, and then cut him off. His argument of cutting ties with other Muslims holds no water.

Cutting ties of kinship

The prohibition for cutting ties with another applies only to kinship or blood relations, not to a non-mahram man! Rather, the expectation with him is that you don’t speak to him, lower your gaze from him, and have nothing to do with him until the Day of Judgment. If he can’t swallow that pill, force it down his throat. See the details here:

https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/maintain-kinship-bonds/

Cursing

If he curses you, it is no matter to you. Do you fear a man’s curse or Allah’s curse? Repent sincerely for having been with him and tell him to forget you. Allah will send him someone better for him. Encourage him to seek therapy and to befriend religious, positive people. It’s not your job to make him feel better. Stop asking him for forgiveness because asking more than once is unbecoming and futile. Rather, ask Allah for forgiveness and fulfill the conditions of true repentance, see them here

Turn to Allah

Turn to Allah with the sincere intention that all you do is for Him and place all your trust in Him. Know that you are never alone and that Allah is nearer to you than your jugular vein. Pray all your prayers on time, read some Qu’ran every day, and make dhikr during your free time.  Learn as much as you can about our beautiful religion and try to apply it in your life. Make repentance daily and involve yourself in charity and helping others. Eating healthy and exercising are instrumental as part of your mental wellness. Make a daily routine for spiritual wellness and physical wellness and stick to it.

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. 

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.