Is the Statement “Don’t Have Sex With Me” Considered an Oath?

Answered by Shaykh Faraz A. Khan

Question: I am confused regarding the topic of ila’. I believe that refers to the vow of abstention.

If a brother said “don’t have sex with me” or “don’t have sex with me anymore”, to his wife, would that be classified as ila’?

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I pray this finds you in the best of health and states.

Ila’ is an oath to abstain from intercourse with one’s wife for a particular period of time.

[Maydani, Lubab; Zayla`i, Tabyin al-Haqa’iq]

Such statements would not be considered ila’, since they are not oaths but rather prohibitions.

And Allah knows best.
wassalam
Faraz

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani