Is Foreplay Between Husband and Wife Obligatory or Recommended?

Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Weltch

Question

Is foreplay between husband and wife obligatory or recommended?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

Performing foreplay before intercourse is recommended. [al-Mawsu’a al-Fiqhiyya al-Kuwaitiyya]

In his work, “Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations,” Mufti Adam al-Kawthari nicely said the following:

“Engaging in foreplay is a vital constituent of a happy marriage, and as a consequence, it should never be disregarded. Both spouses should take the means to arouse one another, as it will result in a more pleasurable union.” [Kawthari, Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations]

The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) is reported to have advised against having intercourse without foreplay.

Sexual Fulfillment 

Jabir bin ‘Abdullah narrates saying, “The Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and give him peace) forbade intercourse before foreplay.” [Khatib, Tarikh Baghdad: the chain was deemed sound by Dhahabi]

This prohibition is because a woman needs to be aroused to attain the sexual fulfillment that intercourse is meant to fulfill. Without foreplay, she may not feel fulfilled, leading to harm.

Hope this helps
Allah knows best

[Shaykh] Yusuf Weltch
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Yusuf Weltch is a teacher of Arabic, Islamic law, and spirituality. After accepting Islam in 2008, he then completed four years at the Darul Uloom seminary in New York where he studied Arabic and the traditional sciences. He then traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he stayed for three years studying in Dar Al-Mustafa under some of the greatest scholars of our time, including Habib Umar Bin Hafiz, Habib Kadhim al-Saqqaf, and Shaykh Umar al-Khatib. In Tarim, Shaykh Yusuf completed the memorization of the Qur’an and studied beliefs, legal methodology, hadith methodology, Qur’anic exegesis, Islamic history, and a number of texts on spirituality. He joined the SeekersGuidance faculty in the summer of 2019.

حُكْمُ مُقَدِّمَاتِ الْجِمَاعِ

٨ – يُسَنُّ لِلزَّوْجِ إِذَا أَرَادَ جِمَاعَ زَوْجَتِهِ أَنْ يُلاَعِبَهَا قَبْل الْجِمَاعِ لِتَنْهَضَ شَهْوَتُهَا فَتَنَال مِنْ لَذَّةِ الْجِمَاعِ مِثْل مَا يَنَالُهُ

 (١) ، وَرُوِيَ عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَنَّهُ قَال: لاَ يُوَاقِعْهَا إِلاَّ وَقَدْ أَتَاهَا مِنَ الشَّهْوَةِ مِثْل مَا أَتَى لَهُ لاَ لِيَسْبِقَهَا بِالْفَرَاغِ (٢) وَالتَّفْصِيل فِي مُصْطَلَحِ (وَطْءٌ)

الموسوعة الفقهية الكويتية (مصطلح مقدمة)

ج – وَيُسْتَحَبُّ أَنْ يَبْدَأَ بِالْمُلاَعَبَةِ وَالضَّمِّ وَالتَّقْبِيل (٣) . فَعَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ – رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا – قَال: نَهَى رَسُول اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَنِ الْمُوَاقَعَةِ قَبْل الْمُلاَعَبَةِ (٤) . وَذَلِكَ لِتَنْهَضَ شَهْوَتُهَا، فَتَنَال مِنْ

الموسوعة الفقهية الكويتية (مصطلح وطء)