Is a Woman Divorced If She Informs Her Family and Husband of Her Decision?
Hanafi Fiqh
Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel
Question
Am I Islamically divorced after verbally informing my family and my ex-husband of the decision due to abuse, even if he refuses to finalize it? Can my potential husband speak to my father about marriage before the legal divorce is completed, or must he wait until the process is finalized and the waiting period is over?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.
I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question.
The Necessity of a Formal Divorce
If your husband has not divorced you, you are not considered separate, even if you have informed him of your decision to leave. Also, your prospective husband cannot speak to your father until the waiting period ends.
The Waiting Period (‘Idda)
The waiting period (idda) for a woman who has been divorced, provided she is not pregnant, is three complete menstrual cycles (haydh). It is forbidden (haram) and considered a major sin to knowingly marry a woman who is observing her idda. Even making a marriage proposal to her during this time is unlawful. Allah Most High says:
“There is no blame on you for subtly showing interest in (divorced or widowed) women or for hiding (the intention) in your hearts. Allah knows that you are considering them (for marriage). But do not make a secret commitment with them—you can only show interest in them appropriately. Do not commit to the bond of marriage until the waiting period expires.” [Quran, 2:235]
Prohibition of a Proposal During the Waiting Period
‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Abbas (Allah be pleased with him) states in the explanation of this verse that “hint a proposal” is to say things like, “I want to marry” and “I wish that a righteous woman would be made available for me” and “until the prescribed time is reached” is the termination of the Idda. [Bukhari]
It is not permitted to express one’s interest (taridh) in marriage to a divorced woman whilst she is in her waiting period (‘idda). [Ibn ’Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]
It is advisable to consult a local scholar for more details and to deal with particular considerations.
I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. In sha’ Allah, you will receive guidance and direction.
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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat
Mawlana Ilyas Patel has received traditional education in various countries. He started his schooling in the UK and completed his hifz of the Quran in India. After that, he joined an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied secular and Aalimiyya sciences. Later, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan, and other Middle Eastern countries to further his education. Mawlana has served as an Imam in the Republic of Ireland for several years and taught the Quran and other Islamic sciences to both children and adults. He also worked as a teacher and librarian at a local Islamic seminary in the UK for 12 years. Presently, he lives in the UK with his wife and is interested in books and gardening.
