How Can I Manage The Problems In My Life?

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question

Assalamu ‘alaykum.

My life is in turmoil ever since I graduated in 2019 my life has hit rock bottom. There has been no movement in my life for 3 yrs. I feel like I’m in quicksand. I’ve tried everything.I’ve tried repenting, praying, fasting, begging, crying, giving charity, reading special du’as, reading Qur’an, volunteering, Laylatul Qadar.

I’m all alone. I have no one: no friend, and my family is toxic and negative. I have no job prospects. No idea what to do with my life. Blockages all over my life

I’m looking for advice on what to do.

Are there any du’as or practices or anything I can do to get my life back?

Answer

Wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

I pray Allah removes your difficulties for you, and that He opens many doors of good for you.

Being Stuck In Problems

You have what seems like a very difficult situation. Feeling stuck in problems with no possible solution in sight is one of the most difficult situations a person can be in. I don’t know the exact issues you face, but I can see from your attempts to find a solution that there is something bigger you should be aware of: Allah loves you.

You have been turning to Allah. That has been a huge gift. Many a time, the pain does fade, but the benefit remains. Paradise was created for people like you. People who turn to Allah, seek His help and aid in the midst of crushing trials. Anyone can worship Him when life is a breeze.

Use this knowledge to contextualise your situation in life. The Truthful, Trusted Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whomever Allah wants much good for He keeps testing them.“ (Bukhari) This is what is happening for you. Keep turning to Him.

Accepting What Is

The last year has been tough for practically the entire planet. Many people struggled, yet much good occurred through all that for them. I recall reading that for the first time in living memory dolphins were seen swimming in Venice. Usually, they didn’t go there due to the effect of us humans being around.

I am a slave. So are you. So is every other created being. We can’t control anything. Our Master is a Loving Lord. He has our very best interests in mind. He’s the same one that gifted us Iman – the key to everlasting happiness in Paradise – without us even asking. 

He is the same one who provides us with food, clothing, shelter, and the many other gifts we have in our lives. He is the same Lord who does not instantly destroy us when we sin. He is the same Creator who wants us to have everlasting happiness in the best way.

He is the same one who has chosen these trails for you – to raise you. Remember this perspective. We can’t change what happens in our lives, but we can relax and float in the stormy waters, knowing only good will occur eventually.

Find practical Solutions

You need to reach out to someone local who can help you. Many people feel ashamed to tell others their problems because they feel they can’t turn to anyone, or that they are alone, or because they don’t want to be a burden. Don’t be this person.

There are many people who will find helping you rewarding. Lay your issues out to someone and ask for help. Maybe they can point you to someone who can. Don’t do this alone. You don’t have to.

If your family is toxic and negative then perhaps being close to them won’t help you heal. This environment has probably contributed to your issues. No one can heal in the place that is making them ill. Perhaps some temporary distance – until you are better – may help.

In summary – know that these tests are here to polish you, so you shine in the long term. Ask for help. You might feel alone, but maybe others don’t see your struggle. Tell someone whom you would send others to for help.

Turn to Allah, and get some practical solutions in your life. You’ll see Allah facilitating matters – in His way, and according to His timescale.

May Allah grant you the best of both worlds.

[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History, he moved to Damascus in 2007, where, for 18 months, he studied with many erudite scholars. In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years in Sacred Law (fiqh), legal theory (Usul al-fiqh), theology, hadith methodology, hadith commentary, and Logic. He was also given licenses of mastery in the science of Quranic recital. He was able to study an extensive curriculum of Quranic sciences, tafsir, Arabic grammar, and Arabic eloquence.