Can Married Couples Talk to Each Other Before Rukhsati?

Answered by Mawlana Ilyas Patel

Question

My nikah was done last year, and after nikah, my husband want to talk with me, but my family doesn’t allow me to do so, and I have a lot of pressure from both my family and my husband’s side. In this situation, what should I do?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate.

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and for seeking guidance and an Islamic answer.

It is permissible for you both to talk to each other, as you are husband and wife. It seems that your family is stopping you from doing so for cultural and cautionary reasons. May Allah Most High reward you both for your patience and make it easy for you to unite.

Once a nikah takes place, it is permissible for the married couple to enjoy marital rights, from meeting each other to intimacy. However, if rukhsati has been deferred, it generally refers to the husband and wife agreeing to stay apart for some time due to customary circumstances. Jurists mention that people’s customary practice (‘urf) is legal proof and must be considered.

It would be best to work with the family and your husband and find a way to convince them, even through a third person. Most importantly, pray to Allah Most High to give you patience, and everyone understanding of his religion, amin.

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha’ Allah.

Related:

• Love, Marriage, and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered.
• The Position of Culture in Islam.
• Can the Couples Stay Together Right after Nikah before Rukhsati?
• How Does One Perform The Prayer Of Need (Salat al-Haja)?

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I pray this helps with your question.
Wassalam,
[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey. He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete the hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled in an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and ‘Aalimiyya sciences. He then traveled to Karachi, Pakistan. He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for several years. He has taught hifz of the Quran, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to children and adults onsite and online extensively in the UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences. He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His interest is a love of books and gardening.