Being HIV Positive and Getting Married

Answered by Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Question: Assalamu alaykum

I committed sodomy in the past, and repented from it. Now, I have been diagnosed as HIV Positive. Has my tawba been accepted? Can I marry a woman who is HIV Negative, and have children with her?

Answer: My dear brother, wa ‘alaykum assalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

I pray you are well.

Do not worry; I’m sure Allah has accepted your sincere repentance. It would also be permissible for you to marry someone who is HIV Negative if she knew exactly what she was getting into.

Allah Loves Our Repentance

We know from a rigorously authenticated narration that Allah is extremely pleased with us when we repent. Imagine a person saved from certain death; when this happens he says something like, “O Allah, you’re my servant and I’m your lord!“ (Muslim) Although he doesn’t experience emotions, Allah is more pleased when a believer apologises and repents than this person who is saved from certain death.

You should feel certain that Allah has accepted your repentance. If you still feel down about what you did use it as a means to keep repenting to Allah, for anything and everything. Allah loves those to frequently repent to Him. (Qur’an; 2:222). Console yourself knowing that Allah has given you the opportunity to become of those who He loves. If Allah loves you – what is there to worry about? He’ll take care of you.

As for the HIV, I feel for you. I pray Allah negates the impact of his illness and give you a long, healthy, and happy life full of good works which please Him.

Try to think of this as a test from Allah, and a means to not only having your faults removed, but to raise you. We all have tests in life, yours happens to be related to this matter. See it as a means of actually getting closer to Allah.

The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Verily, a man will have a particular rank [decreed for him] with Allah, but he is unable to reach it with deeds. So, Allah keep trying it with what he dislikes until He makes him reach that rank.” (Ibn Hibban) Every temporary difficulty you suffer in this life will lead to a permanent reward for you in the next life.

Marriage

It would be permissible for you to marry anyone as long as you told her of your continuing health issues. You do not have to disclose how you got the HIV, though. Some people contract it via improperly disposed syringes.

If she is happy to marry you after being fully aware of the potential risky then go ahead. There are medications available which could render the HIV pretty much inert, and there are options such are ‘sperm washing’ for the issue of conception. She would have to know about all of this, as her life, and the life of any potential baby are at risk. (Zarqa; Sharh al Qawa’id al Fiqhiyya).

May Allah bring you ease in your matter.

Wassalam,
[Shaykh] Abdul-Rahim Reasat

Shaykh Abdul-Rahim Reasat began his studies in Arabic Grammar and Morphology in 2005. After graduating with a degree in English and History he moved to Damascus in 2007 to study and sit at the feet of some of the most erudite scholars of our time.

Over the following eighteen months he studied a traditional curriculum, studying with scholars such as Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh Abdurrahman Arjan, Shaykh Hussain Darwish and Shaykh Muhammad Darwish.

In late 2008 he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continued his studies for the next six years, in Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Theology, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Shama’il, and Logic with teachers such as Dr Ashraf Muneeb, Dr Salah Abu’l-Hajj, Dr Hamza al-Bakri, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, Dr Mansur Abu Zina amongst others. He was also given two licences of mastery in the science of Qur’anic recital by Shakh Samir Jabr and Shaykh Yahya Qandil.

His true passion, however, arose in the presence of Shaykh Ali Hani, considered by many to be one of the foremost tafsir scholars of our time who provided him with the keys to the vast knowledge of the Quran. With Shaykh Ali, he was able to study an extensive curriculum of Qur’anic Sciences, Tafsir, Arabic Grammar, and Rhetoric.

When he finally left Jordan for the UK in 2014, Shaykh Ali gave him his distinct blessing and still recommends students in the UK to seek out Shaykh Abdul-Rahim for Quranic studies. Since his return he has trained as a therapist and has helped a number of people overcome emotional and psychosomatic issues. He is a keen promoter of emotional and mental health.