Am I Allowed to Hit My Father If He Continues to Commit Major Sins?

Answered by Shaykh Jamir Meah

Question: Assalamu alaykum

It’s been almost 10 years that my father is committing fornication but I cannot found any way to get him on track.

Am I allowed to hit my father if he continues to commit this sin?

Answer: Wa’alaykum assalam. I pray you’re well insha’Allah. May Allah make your affairs easy.

While your father’s actions are wrong, it will not be permissible to raise your hands to your father. Instead, you must seek peaceful ways to guide him. If he will not listen after this, then you must accept that he bears responsibility for his own actions. Families can only do what is in their control, and then leave the rest to Allah.

Suggestions

1. Your father may be more likely to listen to someone of his own age. Seek out a reliable confidant, such as a community elder or the local Imam, that you can speak to and ask them to speak to your father.

2. If you father is not willing to listen to anyone, then all that remains is for you to continue to make du’a to Allah to change your father’s ways and guide him. You are not asked to do beyond what is in your ability. At the same time, do not cut your father off. You can disapprove and make clear your position towards his behaviour without severing ties. When you see him, be kind to him, yet also be cautious and do not permit him to take advantage of any kindness, such as asking for money to fuel his habit.

3. Pray the Prayer of Need (Salatul Haja), and recite the following supplication much,

يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِى عَلَى دِينِكَ

‘O’ Turner of the hearts, keep my hearts firm on your religion.* [Al Tirmidhi]

*Change the word قَلْبِى (my heart) to قَلْبِهِ (his heart) to refer to your father.

May Allah guide your father and bring peace to your family.

Warmest salams,
[Shaykh] Jamir Meah

Shaykh Jamir Meah grew up in Hampstead, London. In 2007, he traveled to Tarim, Yemen, where he spent nine years studying the Islamic sciences on a one-to-one basis under the foremost scholars of the Ribaat, Tarim, with a main specialization and focus on Shafi’i fiqh. In early 2016, he moved to Amman, Jordan, where he continues advanced studies in a range of Islamic sciences, as well as teaching. Jamir is a qualified homeopath.