Is It Wrong to Tell Friends That I Had an Argument with My Husband?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Is it wrong to share with friends that my husband and I had an argument, especially when it impacts planned events?
Answer
Thank you for your question. You should refrain from giving people fodder for gossip and only tell happily married, religious, and discreet friends with experience who can guide, advise, and help you. Disclosing your private affairs casually is a mistake. If you keep this up, you will find only harm.
Namima
Telling your friends about the argument will inevitably get back to their husbands and you will get a reputation in the end not realizing when or how it happened. I am almost certain that your husband wouldn’t want them to know, in which case, it is sinful to tell them; this is called namima. Imagine your husband telling his friend about your fight, how would it make you feel? As for planned events, make some other excuse (without lying!) to get out of it. Tell them that you are needed at your mother’s house, and then go to her house and help her.
Du`a
Please say this du`a daily:
اللّهُمَّ اقْسِم لَنا مِن خَشيَتِكَ ما تَحُولُ بِه بَينَنا وبَينَ مَعْصِيَتِك، ومِن طَاعَتِكَ ما تُبَلِّغُنا بِه جَنَّتَكَ، وَمِن اليَقينِ ما تُهَوِّنُ بِه عَلَينا مَصائِبَ الدُّنيا، اللَّهُمَّ مَتِّعْنا بِأسْماعِنا وأبْصارِنا وقُوَّتِنا ما أحْيَيتَنا، واجْعَلْهُ الوارِثَ مِنّا، واجْعلْ ثَأْرَنا عَلى مَن ظَلَمَنا، وانْصُرْنا عَلى مَن عادانا، ولا تَجْعَلْ مُصِيبَتَنا في دِينِنا، ولا تَجْعَل الدُّنْيا أكْبَرَ هَمِّنا، وَلا مَبْلَغَ عِلْمِنا، وَلا تُسَلِّطْ عَلَينا مَن لا يَرْحَمُنا.
O Allah, apportion to us such fear as should serve as a barrier between us and acts of disobedience; and such obedience as will take us to Your Jannah; and such certitude as will make easy for us to bear in the calamities of this world. O, Allah! let us enjoy our hearing, sight and strength as long as You keep us alive and make our heirs from our offspring. Make our revenge restricted to those who oppress us, and support us against those hostile to us. Let no misfortune afflict our religion; let not worldly affairs be our principal concern or the ultimate limit of our knowledge, and let not anyone rule over us who does not fear you in how they treat us and who does not show mercy to us. [Tirmidhi]
Please see more details here:
– Slander, Backbiting and Talebearing
– How Do I Repent From Disclosing Another’s Flaw To Someone?
– 24 – Concealing Your Affairs
– Marriage in Islam
– Keys to Successful Muslim Marriages
– 5 Love Languages
– The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
– Is It Permissible to Lie In Order to Conceal Past Sins?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
