Can I Hide Some Truth from My Parents About a Past Relationship?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Is it permissible to hide or alter the truth about a past relationship to avoid hurting my parents, and how should I handle the guilt of lying to them in this situation?
Answer
Thank you for your question. Yes, it is permissible for you to hide the truth from your parents about a past relationship because the sin is between you and your Lord, and so is your tawba.
Disclosing the truth
Abu Hurayra, Allah be pleased with him, reports that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “All my community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night and to wake up and tell something that they did such-and-such while Allah had concealed it for them. They slept under cover of Allah, and they rent asunder Allah’s covering from themselves in the morning.” [Bukhari & Muslim]
It is not necessary to reveal the truth. Allah Most High is more important than the feelings of any other human, and He has commanded believers to hide their sins because exposing them displeases Him. Is there anything worse than His displeasure?
Repentance
The best way to handle the guilt you feel about holding back from your parents is repentance (tawba). ‘Abdallah bin Mas’ud reported Allah’s messenger as saying, “He who repents of a sin is like him who has not sinned.” [Ibn Maja & Bayhaqi]
When thoughts of guilt come to you, seek refuge from the Devil, make dhikr (remembrance of Allah) recite the Quran, or do them a good turn. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Have taqwa (fear) of Allah wherever you may be, and follow up a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards the people.“ [Tirmidhi]
Please see more details here:
– What Are the Steps of Tawba? Do I Need to Pray a Specific Prayer to Repent?
– What Are the Conditions of Making Tawba? (Transcript)
– What is Sincere Repentance?
– Is It Permissible to Lie In Order to Conceal Past Sins?
– Disclosing Past Sins
– Informing a Prospective Spouse About Past Non-Marital Relationship
– Will My Future Husband Find Out About My Virginity?
– Are There Valid Reasons to Reveal Sins?
– Do I Need to Confess My Zina to My Excellent Suitor?
– Is it haram to keep secrets from your parents?
– What Shall I Do Now That I Told My Parents That I Lied?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Irshaad Sedick
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
