Will Allah Disfigure My Children If My Spouse Makes Fun of People?
Answered by Ustadha Sulma Badrudduja
Question: As-Salaamu-Alaikum,
Masha’Allah I have a wonderful husband, and for the most part he practices Islam in the best manner possible. One thing that concerns me is that he has a very bad habit of making fun of people. When he’s around me, I’m able to keep it to a minimum, but whenever he is around his family, they do it together. They make fun of people who are bald, or who speak funny, or just appearance. It scares me because they make fun of so many people that I fear that Allah will punish not only him but me too. I don’t engage in it, but we are married and I fear that he makes fun of people that what if Allah punishes us by ruining the appearance of our children? Is there anything I can do to help with this?
Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
InshaAllah you are doing well.
Allah Most High says in the Qur’an, “O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers. O you who have believed, avoid much suspicion. Indeed, some suspicion is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it! And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is accepting of repentance and Merciful.” [Surat al-Hujurat, 11-12]
The Prophet Muhammad (Allah bless him and give him peace), “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say that which is good or remain silent.”
Every Muslim should have concern about the issue of taking part in or listening to backbiting or ridicule of others. We have been commanded by our Lord and His messenger (may Allah bless him and give him peace) to stay away from these acts. When one hears others taking in part in backbiting, one should gently but firmly ask them to stop and tell them that it is not permissible. A gathering in which this continues to take place is void of any blessing, and one should not remain in the sitting if it continues. If we are firm in this, others will see the gravity of the matter inshaAllah. Of course, when close family members are involved, we should take special care to display the loftiest of character traits and exercise wisdom so that a healthy and happy relationship is maintained. If you have done this, you have done your part and you do not need to worry about being harmed by their acts because Allah will not take you to account for others’ sins.
Besides being reminded by you that speaking badly of others or making fun of them is not permissible, your husband should learn himself why these things are wrong. He should consider taking the class Prohibitions of the Tongue offered by SeekersGuidance:
Please see these related answers:
What is backbiting and How Can One Be Safe
Wassalam,
Sulma
Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani
