Why Are Only Wives Threatened in Hadith for Making Mistakes?

Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad

Question

I saw this hadith: “Every time a woman hurts or annoys her husband in this life, his Hoor wife says, ‘may Allah curse you he is but an outsider who will soon leave you for us‘“ And another hadith that says her prayer will not be accepted. Does that mean that every time a wife makes a mistake, she is cursed? It’s natural to make mistakes because she is human and what happens when the husband makes a mistake? Is he cursed? Is his prayer still accepted? Why is there no hadith about the husband making mistakes?

Answer

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. 

Every person is responsible for their actions and will be held accountable for what they say and do. I guarantee you that no one will be safe on that day except he whom Allah envelops in His mercy.

Hadith

The full hadith is here:

“No woman annoys her husband in the world except that his wife among the Al-Hural-`Ain (maidens of Paradise) says, ‘Do not annoy him, may Allah destroy you, he is only like a guest with you, soon he will part from you for us.’” [Tirmidhi]

The second hadith is: Allah’s Messenger, (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “There are three whose prayer would not rise up beyond their ears: The runaway slave until he returns, a woman who spends a night while her husband is angry with her, and a people’s Imam whom they dislike.“ [Tirmidhi]

Your explanation for both of the hadiths above is here, in excellent and full detail:

Explaining Misunderstood Hadith About Women

Rights and Responsibilities

Please keep in mind that Allah has prohibited abuse and mistreatment between spouses, and a wife is not cursed for making a mistake. They are instructed to treat each other as a garment, and both will be held accountable for their responsibilities in their marriage. A marriage is built upon mercy, trust, kindness, respect, and support. 

As for the punishment of the neglectful husband, it is very clear as we are told in this hadith. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “There is no person to whom Allah has given responsibility and dies neglecting that responsibility, but Allah will deny him Paradise.” [Muslim]

Please take this course to learn about the rights and obligations of each spouse in marriage:

Marriage in Islam: Practical Guidance for Successful Marriage

Prophetic advice

If one wants to know how the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) really felt about the treatment of women, here is what he told us in his last sermon:

“O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. If they abide by your right, then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to commit adultery.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

And one of his last admonishments upon his death was: “The prayer; and those whom your right hands possess.” [Ibn Majah] 

This is sufficient to understand the spirit of an Islamic marriage and the treatment of women in general. Any kind of marriage that deviates from this is contrary to the sunnah of Islam. May Allah give you a pious spouse and the best of this world and the next.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.