Why Are My Rewards in Paradise Different Because of My Gender?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Unfortunately, my faith just keeps on decreasing because all I see is that Islam judges something that is beyond our control. For example, men who will go to heaven know there is hoor al-‘ayn waiting for them and are eager to meet them while women only get one husband. Why can’t there be someone in paradise eagerly waiting for his wife? Hoor al-‘ayn curses abusive wives but who in paradise will do the same for women?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I am sorry that the rewards of Paradise disturb you, but I can assure you that you will have no complaint, sadness, distress, or fear when you are there, by the grace of Allah.
Differing Rewards
I can’t tell you why Allah has chosen for a woman’s reward to be different from a man’s. I can guess, and tell you that a woman has a monogamous nature, and that is why a woman’s husband in Paradise will have the strength of a hundred men. I could make another guess and tell you that men and women have different expectations in this world so that is why their reward is commensurate to that, but neither of these answers is necessarily correct or satisfactory for you.
Allah’s Decree
Rather, I can tell you that Allah created us, placed different obligations on the genders, and will reward them differently. Both have been promised a great reward. [See Quran, 33:35] I don’t think it’s odd that our Creator knows how best to reward us and that He knows us better than we know ourselves. Please don’t allow doubts of the hereafter to dissuade you from what must be done now. Allah has asked us to believe, to act on the five pillars, and to behave with excellence, and all of that is good for us, beyond the shadow of a doubt.
Please see these links in full for far more detail:
72 Virgins for Martyrs: Making Sense of One of the Rewards of Paradise
Will a Person Have What He Prefers in Paradise?
Explaining Misunderstood Hadith About Women
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
