What Can I Do About My Overwhelming Guilt About My Time?

In the Name of Allah, the Most Merciful and Compassionate

I pray you are in good faith and health. Thank you for your question and for showing the utmost concern for religion.

Do not worry and be upset. You are on the right path. This is just a spiritual overreaction that has come about and can happen. I would like you to take solace and comfort from the following hadith.

Abu Uthman narrated from Hanzala Al-Usaidi – one of the scribes of the Messenger of Allah – that he passed by Abu Bakr while he was crying, so Abu Bakr asked him: What is wrong with you, O Hanzala? He replied: Hanzala has become a hypocrite! When we are with the Messenger of Allah, we are reminded of hell and heaven as if we look at them with our own eyes. But when we return, we busy ourselves with our family and livelihood, and we forget.

Abu Bakr said: By Allah! The same thing happens to me. Let us go to the Messenger of Allah.

So, Hanzala and Abu Bakr went to see the Prophet. When the Messenger of Allah saw Hanzala looking distressed, he asked: What is bothering you, O Hanzala? Hanzala responded I have become a hypocrite, O Messenger of Allah! When we are with you, we remember hell and heaven as if we can see them with our own eyes. But when we return, we get busy with our families and livelihood, and we forget.

So, the Messenger of Allah said: ‘If you were to sustain the state that you are in when you are with me, then the Angels would honor you in your gatherings. But O Hanzala! There is a time for this and a time for that.’[Ibn Maja; Tirmidhi]

I would like you to go through the valuable answers and links below. You will receive guidance and direction in sha Allah.

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I pray this helps with your question.

Wassalam,

[Mawlana] Ilyas Patel

Mawlana Ilyas Patel is a traditionally trained scholar who has studied in the UK, India, Pakistan, Syria, Jordan, and Turkey.

He started his early education in the UK. He went on to complete hifz of the Quran in India, then enrolled into an Islamic seminary in the UK, where he studied the secular and Alimiyyah sciences. He then travelled to Karachi, Pakistan.

He has been an Imam in Rep of Ireland for a number of years. He has taught hifz of the Qur’an, Tajwid, Fiqh, and many other Islamic sciences to both children and adults onsite and online extensively in UK and Ireland. He taught at a local Islamic seminary for 12 years in the UK, where he was a librarian and a teacher of Islamic sciences.

He currently resides in the UK with his wife. His personal interest is the love of books and gardening.