The Loss of a Child: Seeking & Turning to Allah in Difficult Times

Answered by Sidi Tabraze Azam

Question: Can you recommend any duas to restore strength or hope for parents who have lost a child through miscarriage or by stillbirth?

Answer: Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I hope you are in the best of health and spirits insha’Allah.

Firstly, take recourse with the words of Allah, Most High, “So truly with hardship comes ease. Truly with hardship comes ease.” [94:5-6] This is the promise of Allah.

Further, as we mentioned in a previous answer, “in times of difficulty, follow the Qur’anic advice, ‘Seek help through patience and prayer’ [2:45]. In such situations, it is call and a reminder from Allah to turn back to Him, be grateful for one’s blessings and to re-focus one’s heart to Allah.”

Turning to Allah in Supplication

Allah Most High states in the Qur’an, “If My slaves ask you about Me, I am near. I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me.” [2:185] There are a number of prophetic supplications that one can make in this situation, such as:

أَسْأَلك الْهُدَى وَالتُّقَى وَالْعَفَاف وَالْغِنَى

“O Allah, I ask You for guidance, fearful awareness, chastity and self-sufficiency.”

اللهم أصلح لي ديني الذي هو عصمة أمري، وأصلح لي دنياي التي فيها معاشي، وأصلح لي آخرتي التي فيها معادي، واجعل الحياة زيادةً لي في كل خيرٍ، واجعل الموت راحةً لي من كل شر

“O Allah, put right for me my din in which lies the protection of my affair and put right for me this world in which lies my livelihood and put right for me the Next World in which is my future. Make life increase in every good thing for me and make death a rest for me from every evil thing.”

One should remember to make one’s supplications in a heartfelt manner, in absolute need of Allah and with a living heart that is engaged in intimate discourse with the Divine. Don’t feel obliged to make your supplications in Arabic, use any language you feel comfortable with and ask as He loves to be asked.

The Day of the Eclipse and the Passing of Sayyiduna Ibrahim (Allah be pleased with him)

It is related that al-Mughira ibn Shu’ba said, “There was a solar eclipse in the time of the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, on the day that Ibrahim died and the people said, ‘The sun is eclipsed because of the death of Ibrahim.’ The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, ‘The sun and the moon do not eclipse because of anyone’s life or death. Rather they are two of the signs of Allah. When you see them, pray and make supplication to Allah.'” [Bukhari]

This hadith shows us how even the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) was tested, the leader of the Prophets and the beloved of Allah. However, even therein he remembered and took recourse with his Lord. Therefore we should remember that we are being tested because Allah knows that we can handle it. “Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of God: for without doubt in the remembrance of God do hearts find satisfaction. [13:28]

The Intercession of the Child for their Parents

Scholars have mentioned that the children who pass away at a young age will be waiting for their parents on the day of judgement so they can take their parents by the hand into gardens of bliss.

Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, say, ‘If anyone has three of his children die young and resigns them to Allah, he will enter the Garden.’ We said, ‘Messenger of Allah, what about two?’ ‘And two,’ he said.” Mahmud ibn Labid said to Jabir, “By Allah, I think that if you had asked, ‘And one?’ he would have given a similar answer.” He said, “By Allah, I think so too.” [Bukhari, al-Adab al-Mufrad]

Khalid al-‘Absi said, “A son of mine died and I felt intense grief over his loss. I said, ‘Abu Hurayra, have you heard anything from the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, to cheer us regarding our dead?’ He replied, ‘I heard the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, say, “Your children are roaming freely in the Garden.” [ibid.]

Sahl ibn al-Hanzala, who had no children, said, “I would prefer to have a miscarried child while I am a Muslim and resign that child to Allah than to have the entire world and what it contains.” [ibid.]

This is an honour and a mercy to the parents and the child for which one should seek to be grateful, as thankfulness and patience increase one’s reward tremendously, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you.’ [14:7] If we only knew the reality, we would be drowning in joy.

Afflictions and the Muslim

Abu Yahya Suhayb ibn Sinan said, “The Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, ‘What an extraordinary thing the business of the believer is! All of it is good for him. And that only applies to the believer. If good fortune is his lot, he is grateful and it is good for him. If something harmful happens to him, he is steadfast and that is good for him too.'” [Muslim]

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, Allah bless him and give him peace, said, “Believers, both men and women, will continue to be afflicted in respect of themselves, their children and their property until they meet Allah without any wrong actions at all.” [Tirmidhi]

This life is one of affliction, trials and tribulation and the next life will be one of tremendous bounty, everlasting happiness and eternal paradise for the one who attains it. There will be such bounty in paradise that when the inhabitants will be asked if they had any difficulty in the life of this world, they will say no, O Lord. Such will be there state in clothes of silk in gardens under which rivers flow. We say as our master Sayyiduna Ibrahim said to his Lord, ‘And place me among the inheritors of the Garden of Delight’ [26:85] May Allah make us all from amongst them. Amin.

And Allah alone gives success.

wassalaam,
Tabraze Azam

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani

Sidi Tabraze Azam was born and raised in Ipswich, England where he memorized the entire Qur’an.  He was awarded a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science and Management from the University of Leicester where he also served as the president of the Islamic society. In 2009, after a few years of private study, he left for Jordan for advanced studies of the Islamic sciences. He currently resides in Amman where he studies Arabic, fiqh, `aqidah, and tajwid, attaining ijaza in the recitation of Hafs.