Since the Birth of My Baby, I No Longer Pray. What Do I Do?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: Assalam alaykum,
Before marriage, I prayed five times a day. I no longer do that, now that I am married, with a one year old baby. Now I am lost in sins, watch bad things, and backbite. What do I do?
Answer: Assalam alaykum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for reaching out to us.
Repentance
“And seek the Forgiveness of Allah, certainly, Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Qur’an, 4:106]
Allah loves you, and wants good for you. Ask for forgiveness from Him, commit to paying back the prayers you have missed, and renew your intention to worship Him.
Support
Raising a young baby can be very exhausting and stressful. Please reach out for help. Do you have family you can count on to look after your baby at least once a week, even for an hour or two? Can you hire a trustworthy babysitter?
Use this time to nap, read a book, go for a walk, or whatever else brings you joy.
Reflection
Once you have some time to think, then ask yourself why your prayers are slipping. Is it the exhaustion that comes with raising a baby, or something else? Make dua for Allah to help you, strive to give in regular charity, and slowly remove whatever displeases Allah from your daily life.
Please listen to this podcast series to help rejuvenate your heart: The Rawha.
Husband
Alhamdulillah, you describe your husband as being a good man who establishes his prayers. Ask him for help. Ask him to help wake you up for Fajr, and also for Isha, if you fall asleep.
I pray that Allah grants you courage, steadfastness, and brings you back to daily prayer.
Please see:
How Should I Go About Making up a Lot of Missed Prayers?
Selected Prophetic Prayers for Spiritual, Physical and Emotional Wellbeing by Chaplain Ibrahim Long
Wassalam,
[Ustadha] Raidah Shah Idil
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil has spent almost two years in Amman, Jordan, where she learned Shafi’i’ fiqh, Arabic, Seerah, Aqeedah, Tasawwuf, Tafsir and Tajweed. She continues to study with her Teachers in Malaysia and online through SeekersHub Global. She graduated with a Psychology and English degree from University of New South Wales, was a volunteer hospital chaplain for 5 years and has completed a Diploma of Counselling from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law.
