Should I Wear the Hijab? – My Parents Don’t Agree

Question: I have always wanted to wear hijab but my parents do not want me to. When I bring it up to them they tell me that I am being too extreme and that the environment we live in is too dangerous. My father tells me that I should just wear a nice hat but that doesn’t feel right. Can we compromise? I live in a colder climate, would it be permissible to wear the hijab but to wear a hat on top of that? What should I do?

Answer:

Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. I commend you for wanting to wear the hijab and for striving to fulfill Allah’s command. This takes a great measure of courage and dedication and I pray that Allah facilitates it for you.

The ruling and resources

Despite your parent’s fears, it remains obligatory for you to wear hijab.  The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “There is no obedience to any human being if it involves disobedience to Allah.“ [Musnad of Ahmad]

Please see these links for the best advice for a girl in your situation:
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/how-do-i-cope-with-my-parents-fear-and-disapproval-of-hijab/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/hanafi-fiqh/can-i-obey-my-parents-if-they-forbid-me-to-wear-the-hijab/
https://seekers.flywheelstaging.com/answers/general-counsel/i-am-struggling-to-wear-hijab-is-it-better-for-me-to-not-wear-it-at-all/

Compromise

It is possible, as you mentioned in your question, to wear a hat on top of your hijab, that is not a problem at all. Even wearing a hat with a scarf around the neck strategically, could be your first step to wear hijab, until you are able to wear one fully. Consider wearing a hat when you leave the house, but when you are far enough away, you can pull out your hijab and put that on under the hat.

Generally speaking, transitioning to wearing hijab is difficult at first, but people get used to it very quickly. You will be surprised at what seems impossible now will actually change and soften your parent’s hearts with time. Trust in Allah and know that everyone’s fitra (innate tendency to faith) guides them to do and accept the right thing.

May Allah give you bountiful good and ease in your situation and bless you in your decision and guide your parents to join you as well.

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.