Should I Tell My Spouse About My Relationships Before I Got Married?

Answered by Ustadha Sulma Badrudduja

Question: Assalaamu alaikum, My doubts are as follows:
1) Before marriage, I had a relationship with a Christian boy. Finding it, my parents forced me to marry a Muslim which I did. Later I repented for having a relationship with the Christian boy. Although before marriage itself, I told my husband that I love a Christian, I didn’t give all the details. Should i reveal all my past to my husband? Kindly note that I have only been with my husband. But, details like love letters & he touching my hand,face etc., I am hiding. Will Allah punish me? After marraige, I have never allowed any other man in my life other than my husband.

Answer: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,

I hope you are doing well inshaAllah. The Messenger (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) said, “The one who [sincerely] repents from sin is like the one who has no sin.”  Since you have repented from your sin and stopped all contact with the person, you do not need to worry about being punished inshaAllah. Please look at these answers on repentance and sin:

Regarding disclosure of this previous relationship to your husband, it is not necessary — it is actually prohibited. It is sinful to speak about sins, including one’s own, unless there is a shari`a countenanced reason.

Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s blessings and peace be upon him) said, ” All my community will be excused except those who are blatant. And it is from blatancy for one to perform an act at night while his Lord covered it, and then to wake up and tell someone that they did such-and-such yesterday, while Allah had concealed it for him. He slept under the cover of Allah, and he rended Allah’s covering from himself in the morning.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

Please see this detailed answer about speaking about past sins:
Can We Deny Having Committed Sins After We’ve Repented From Them?

Wassalam,
Sulma

Checked & Approved by Faraz Rabbani