Should I Marry a Girl Who Used to Drink and Smoke as I Am a Hafidh of Quran?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
Can I overcome concerns about my partner’s past mistakes, including substance use, and prevent them from relapsing, given our own past mistakes, if we marry?
Answer
Thank you for your question. I empathize with your feelings of confusion and indecisiveness because one never really knows how a potential spouse’s past can affect them in the future.
Istikhara
My gut is telling me that you should not marry this person for the reasons that you stated, and because this person has brought out the worst in you despite you having lived a religious lifestyle. That could be an indication of things to come. The best way to decide is to pray istikhara and consult family and friends. Have you met her family? What feeling do you get from them? Do you remember Allah Most High when you are with her?
Criteria
You have done well to repent, but I ask Allah Most High to send you someone who will fulfill this marital criterion of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) who said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, or her piety. Select the pious; may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari & Muslim] This advice applies to both genders.
Du`a
Please make this dua from the Quran daily:
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied Aqidah, Fiqh, Tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied Fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
