Should I Marry a Christian Girl From School?
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
A Christian girl at my school is very nice to me and was one of the first to treat me kindly when others had hated me when I came back to school. She likes me, and I give her gifts and treat her with the best behavior. But we are starting to fall in love with each other. We even text, but I try my best to not chat with her. She does not believe that ‘Isa, peace be upon him, is god, but she is still non-Muslim.
I want to tell her about Islam after school ends. What should I do to call her to Islam, and if she becomes Muslim, then how can I marry her? I have no Muslim family at the moment, may Allah change this. And Allah knows best if she will have Muslim relatives or not, but I will be her man. Or should I try to find a practicing Muslim-born girl to marry?
I’m not sure how to marry her because we do not have guardians here or witnesses, may Allah change this. I always pray for her guidance, but I feel dead inside that I cannot call her to Islam at the moment, and it’s only because I fear people.
Answer
Thank you for your question. I pray that you can stay within the limits of gender interaction and find a solution to what is best for your religion. If this girl is meant is for you, Allah will open a way for you, by His grace.
Gender Interaction
Staying within the limits of Islam is very important. I know that being in a mixed school is difficult, and one does need to be cordial and speak to the opposite gender sometimes. However, giving personal gifts and texting for socializing is beyond what is permissible and I ask that you cease these activities so that you don’t fall deeper into this emotionally.
It is better for you and your religion, and for your future to follow Allah’s limits throughout any process of marrying a girl. If she is meant for you, you must trust that Allah will make it happen in the right way, that is pleasing to Him.
Please see gender interaction limits here:
A Reader On Gender Interaction
Conversion
Naturally, I don’t advise you to marry her unless she converts. Raising children with a non-Muslim mother presents many challenges and you don’t need to put your future at risk like that.
There are many ways to do this. You could give her a copy of the Quran with translation, you could send her some lectures over email. You can send her this link to many resources below. If Allah wills her to be guided, guidance can seep into her heart from any means.
New to Islam Reader: A Trusted Collection of Resources for Converts
Nikah
As for a nikah, you should not think about that right now because you have a long way to go. She should convert first, and you would need her father’s or guardian’s permission, as well. You would not need a guardian yourself for a nikah, just the presence of two Muslim witnesses at the nikah ceremony. When you come to that point, you can use the link below:
What Are the Minimum Steps That Must Be Taken for a Marriage to Be Valid?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.
