I Need to Get Things off My Chest. Can I Confide in My Husband or Is That Gossiping?
Answered by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil
Question: I am trying to cut out gossiping. I struggle to hold things in because I have OCD and anxiety. Can I confide in my husband? He doesn’t gossip at all, and will keep what I say confidential.
Answer: Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
I pray this finds you well. May Allah reward you for clarifying this matter.
Permissible Backbiting
Please refer to this article – When Is Backbiting Permissible?
In short, for the sake of your emotional health, you are permitted to confide in someone who can help you.
Please do your best not to give identifying information such as the person’s name or other incriminating details. Be as vague as possible, and give only just enough information in order to help you reduce your anxiety. For example, it would be better for you to say something like “So-and-so did this and it really upset me.” It would be impermissible for you to specifically name the person who upset you, unless your husband is capable of righting that wrong. In other words, it is impermissible to name someone just for the sake of venting.
For your long-term recovery, I suggest that you consider seeing a counsellor, therapist or psychologist.
I pray that Allah grants you lasting healing, and places tranquility in your heart.
Please see:
Slander, Backbiting and Talebearing
Wassalam,
Raidah
Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
